The One Question You Should Ask Yourself Before Dumping Someone

The One Question You Should Ask Yourself Before Dumping Someone
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So, you’ve reached a point in your relationship where you’re wondering if maybe it’s time to call it quits. You’re not really feeling the love anymore, and you’re unsure whether this partnership can grow any further. Long story, short: you’re confused. While that’s a pretty sucky situation, it’s not all that uncommon and we have some advice on how to figure out if you should break up with your honey.

Should I break up with them? An investigation

should I break up with my boyfriend girlfriend
How decide if you should continue dating or break up. Refinery29 Australia – We Are Many Image Gallery

If you’re looking for some guidance on whether or not you should break up with your partner, the best place to turn (assumedly) is a relationship expert.

The first to come to mind for us is Logan Ury, a behavioural scientist and dating coach, who covers the ‘should I, shouldn’t I’ conundrum with regard to breakups in her book How Not to Die Alone.

In the chapter titled ‘Stop Hitching and Stop Ditching’, Ury wrote that there is one question she tells clients to ask themselves when they’re wondering if they should break up with someone.

That question is: “If your partner were a piece of clothing that you own – something in your closet – what piece of clothing would they be?”

It may sound odd, but once Ury explained how the absurd-sounding exercise often reveals your true feelings, it’s hard to deny her logic.

“One guy said his boyfriend was a wool sweater, something that keeps you warm but then gets itchy when you wear it too long,” she wrote.

In essence, if you describe the piece of clothing that represents your partner in a positive way (it’s comfortable, keeps me warm, makes me feel great) then you might find it’s worth sticking out the relationship and trying to mend any problems. However, if you use terms like itchy, old, annoying, or ill-fitting, it’s probably a sign that you’re ready to break up and move on.

Lucky for you, if you do decide a break up is the best next step, Ury has an entire guide to getting through that uncomfortable process with as little damage as possible in her book, too.

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