Recently, we asked you to share your partner’s grossest habits and (un?) fortunately, you delivered.
Some were tame. “My wife is a vegetarian and she has the most smelly, deadly farts” — I mean, that’s just a regular Tuesday for a lot of people. Others…well. We have no words, really. They certainly fit the “gross” bill, perhaps a little too well. But we’re not here to shame anyone’s partners (OK, maybe just little). Behold: A sampling of some of Lifehacker readers’ grossest partner habits revealed, from the mildly brow-furrowing to the truly gag-worthy.
Hair in the bathroom
We’re going to ease you in with a not-so-gross, mostly just annoying habit. A lot of people don’t like when their partners leave hair on the shower wall. Papa Van Twee explains, “She usually clears the drain of hair because it doesn’t drain otherwise. But the hair winds up on the side of the tub, travelling one-two feet instead of the whole five feet it needs to get to the trash can.”
mrgoodbeer echoed the sentiment. “Same here, but the wad of hair doesn’t even move one or two feet. When the water doesn’t drain mine just slides the mass up the side of the tub a little with her foot and sticks it there to clear the drain.”
OK, ok. We’ll try to be better about removing our hair spiders from the shower or tub. Can we get a few points for not clogging the drains, though?
There are several complaints that could be lodged against toenail clipping — from where it’s done, to how often and where the clippings are left. On Whisper, where people anonymously share all manner of thoughts and feelings they should probably keep to themselves, one commenter from Seattle, WA wrote, “My boyfriend clips his nails and doesn’t even do it over the trash can. He does it out in the open and they get all over the place. So gross.”
Is a partner who groups them on the coffee table to “throw away later” but always forgets any better? You decide.
Flicking beard hair
We never knew this was a thing but I guess it is? “My partner and I have been together for 6 years, and he refuses to shave his face,” says Lifehacker reader Brennan. “Instead of shaving he will sit on the couch and just pluck hairs from his face with his fingernails one by one, and putting them on his shirt. Then once his shirt is covered in these little hairs he will just flick them onto the couch, or the carpet, or wherever. I just don’t get it.”
Ahildy9815 agreed, “I refuse to shave as well, but if I tried to pluck the whole thing it would probably grow back before I could finish.”FryCookOnVenus had this to say: “I don’t find that particularly gross, but it is the behaviour of a crazy person.”
TBH, we don’t really understand this one. What do ya’ll have against shaving?
We took it easy in the last slide because this one is a doozy. Even I, a woman, cannot handle what is about to be revealed here.
It starts off mildly enough, from mrgoodbeer: “Mrs Goodbeer leaves gobs of toothpaste all over the sink like a 5 year old.” Yeah! That is gross. It’s so easy to rinse out a sink, what the heck! But, wait.
“Also, leaves her used tampons on the edge of the counter right next to the toilet so if I sit down next they’re right there in my face,” he continues. “I say ‘they’ because they collect there. I collect them and throw them out once they start to smell.”
I-. I’m sorry. I need to take a minute.
Weird nose-blowing techniques
When I think of weird nose-blowing habits, my mind goes to nose-picking, crumpled up tissues being left in places they shouldn’t be, or worse — stuffed back in the box. Not once did my mind go to the following anecdote from AngryBob-VA, when describing his ex’s habit: “The grossest thing was she would blow her nose on the bed sheets or into her hand. Every time I’d hand her a tissue but she never got the hint that I thought it was revolting. Or, more likely, she didn’t care.”
Thumb and butt things
Are you ready for some kink? Or toddler regression? Or both wrapped up into the same WTF package? Well, here you go.
“When we’re just chilling on the couch, she’ll shove her thumb up my butt and suck on it like a child.” Leith1812
We honestly don’t know what that was. Harmless exaggeration? Poop fetish drive-by? Momentary blip revealing a portal into an alternate universe we’ll hopefully never visit? Not sure. But we’re sure we agree with EvilMonkey72‘s response: “What a terrible day to be able to read.”
Bad bathroom etiquette
There are those who think partners shouldn’t so much as tinkle in front of each other; others who think some unintentional bathroom visibility is bound to happen over a years or decades-long living cohabitation. “Bound to happen” versus “never in a million” people.
BIMming It is in the latter camp. “She shits with the door open, and leaves it open to ‘air out’. I’ve told her a thousand times that I really don’t like to hear her shitting, or watch her shitting, or listen to her scream stories to me from across the house while shitting… she thinks it’s funny. We have both a window AND a ceiling vent/fan in the bathroom, with the latter being specifically designed to deal with this situation but she thinks ‘it doesn’t work.’ I have worked in construction for 20 years…I know it works, I can prove it, but it means nothing and I will be smelling her shits from two rooms down until I’m dead.”
On a less gross, but similarly juvenile note, Greg Hyatt wrote, “My soon-to-be ex-wife kicks the bathmat away when she gets out of the shower and lays down a towel because she doesn’t understand the point of bathmats.”
Of an ex partner, a forgiving Stickmontana writes, “We lived together in a place with a pretty bad ant problem. You couldn’t leave anything out for even a second…My partner wasn’t great about making sure her dirty clothes were properly stowed, and the ants absolutely LOVED her dirty underwear. To the point where it almost seemed like a kink. It was a constant battle to get her to put her dirty clothes in a place where the ants wouldn’t get at it. I didn’t even know that was a thing ants were into. Again, it’s gross but it’s not really her fault.”
“My wife takes out her contacts at night and just flicks them where ever. Like the floor, the night stand or sometimes the wall (they stick when still wet). Its so gross, if you step on them they stick to your feet. benny
Hearing this, we’re with ThundercatsRidesAgain. “WHYYYY? Why would she do that? Are there no trash cans in the vicinity where they can be disposed of like any other person would do? I have so many questions.”
Everything but the kitchen sink
As someone who appreciates when my spouse washes the dishes but firmly believes that emptying the sink strainer and running the disposal are part of the job, this one hit home.
EvilMonkey72 writes, “Probably tame to some here, but when cooking, she just throws the trash in the sink. Containers, trimmings, etc. So when it’s time to cleanup, I’m just scooping globs of those styrofoam/plastic things meat comes packaged in , bags, chicken skin, vegetable waste, etc all out of the sink (mixed in with the actual dirty dishes). I mean, the garbage is literally right there. Why is everything just being tossed in the sink?”
There are so many ways to eat grossly; there’s teeth sucking, open mouth chewing, letting crud collect in the corner of your mouth — this is not that.
I like Dunks coffee and I cannot lie says: “Wife and I have lived together for 12+ years, been married for almost 10, and the only thing I’ve found disgusting is the morning hard boiled egg. This is coming from one who can’t stand eggs of any sort. I can’t even enter the kitchen while she’s eating it. Does that count?”
“It counts, but I think it’s a stretch,” said panthercougar. I’ve lived with my wife for 15 years and was racking my brain to think of something she does that grosses me out, and anything I came up with was clearly just an annoyance, and not actually disgusting. I guess that means kudos to my wife for not being gross.”
Aw. Happy almost Valentine’s Day, ya lovebirds.
We’ll round it out with ears, people. Again from Whisper (whose url is “Whisper.sh” for a reason): “It embarrasses me how you can see my boyfriend’s ear wax just by standing next to him. He needs to keep that under control!”
Lifehacker reader NotTheDroidYouAreLookingFor had a story about a co-worker’s unique public ear-cleaning technique. “He took a paperclip and bent it so that the smaller inner loop was at a right angle to the larger outer loop. Then while continuing to make eye contact while talking to me, he plunged it into his left ear and started spinning it around! Then he pulls it out looks at the gunk collected in the metal loop, and proceeds to use his fingers to clean it off. After which he bends it back flat again, and uses it to clip work papers together! I was gagging!”
All we can say is, we’re really glad that’s your coworker, not your partner.