Our interest in romantic relationships is deep and it’s wide-ranging. If we’re not wondering how to find a partner, we’re looking at how to keep one or at the very least, how to keep one happy. Relationship coaches are often the ones we refer to for guidance in this space; they’re the romantic masters who we expect to hold all the answers to unlocking the perfect pairing.
So, what’s it like to work as one in Australia? We chatted with Sensuality and Relationships Expert Alina Rose to find out.
Work it Out: Relationship coach
All below quotes are attributed to Alina Rose.
What are the best parts of your job?
Think about it like this – when girlfriends get together, they usually end up talking about… their love life! We love dissecting dates, our text messages, gaining valuable advice and sharing stories – the good, the bad and the ugly, [with] solidarity and perspective.
But we can’t always talk to our friends – and they don’t always give the best advice!
Relationship coaching is like a chat with a wise BFF, except with an objective: healing and practical element. I’m a clean slate, so my client’s experience isn’t coloured by my opinions – it’s all about them!
I have lived in their shoes, but have also studied my field for 15 years – behavioural sciences, communications and masculine / feminine [or yin and yang] wisdom, so I can offer both a spiritual and scientific perspective that when applied, allows common relationship issues to fall away, confidences to soar and connections blossom.
I love celebrating love stories and women gaining agency and fulfilment over their dating life. Assisting someone to fall in love – and [to] have that relationship go the distance is basically a KPI of the role.
What are the worst parts of your job?
Literally not much. I choose who I work with and my own hours, so the clients that I click with are always awesome.
If I’m honest though, perhaps the business and marketing element has taken me a while to get comfortable with. All the social media, what to say…just the self-promotion is a whole other art-form.
It’s always been a word of mouth business, with my contact details handed out in hushed tones at dinner parties! But if you want to grow and help more people, you have to put yourself out there too and get comfortable with marketing, running workshops, videos, etc.. which is where I’m at currently.
Can you walk us through a day in the life of your work? (Hours, standard tasks, challenges etc.)
To do coaching well, I need to stay calm, clear and have lots of energy. My clients deserve presence and grace, so being mentally, physically and emotionally healthy supports that.
I meditate about 5 times a week, [and] I love to walk in the park to ideate and clear my head.
When I’m in that zone, I can see 5-7 clients a day, back to back, and remain energised. With COVID, those sessions are via Zoom, or they come to my home office when we’re living ‘normally’.
I don’t find it a draining job at all, because the sessions we have are practical, empowering and pretty fun. Choosing who you work with is important for sanity too, and my clients are positive and proactive women who are ready to dive in and do the work.
A majority of my clients have been cis / straight women wanting to improve relationships with their male partners, as that’s been my personal journey and an area I can speak to with the most lived experience. However, polarity exists in every relationship dynamic and I work with all people and identifications.
Love goes beyond labels, and we are always attuning our energy to our own moods, life phases and new partners. I love to help anybody who I click with and would love to improve their relationship or find love through being their authentic self.
When I’m not coaching, I write content – blog and social posts and programs. Again, you need lots of creative energy for that as I get mentally blocked when I’m tired.
I read a lot too, usually first and last thing in bed – and that can be other people’s posts, awesome esoteric books, articles, or even fiction.
What are some comments or questions about your job that you hate hearing?
When I started in 2004 I was only 23, so I was always asked if I had any life experience. I got defensive, as I knew still had the tools to help people shift and get results. Now that it’s 2021, I definitely don’t get asked that anymore… I’ve lived!
What would you say are some of the biggest misconceptions attached to your work?
Probably that it’s vacuous, or that anyone can do it. Indeed, anyone can help people with relationships, but I have dedicated 15 years to my craft and still feel like I am only getting started.
I have supported people to heal and get their life back on track after a divorce. I help women who haven’t had a relationship in over 10 years (but instead poured their energy into an illustrious career), get married and have a baby within 18 months. This is deep, transformational work that rewires the fibre of someone’s soul for the better! And I always say – only come and see me if you’re ready to radically upgrade your life.
On average, what kind of wage can someone in this role expect to earn?
Relationship coaches charge $80-$1,100 per hour. It all depends on their experience, qualifications, positioning, perceived market value and target market.
Like anything though, you need to be obsessed with what you’re doing and an example for people, because otherwise, your agenda will get in the way of truly helping people. Clients can sense that and you won’t be successful.