If you watched the final episode of the 2021 Bachelorette, you likely recall that leading lady Brooke Blurton and her now-partner Darvid Garayeli were taken through a tantric sex breathing session as part of their final date.
Oh I'm here for whispy hair tantric sex lady #BacheloretteAU.
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) November 25, 2021
The session, which involved a whole heap of exercises, was incredibly intimate and well, I’d gather the scene left a few Aussies curious to learn more – because there’s been spikes in searches for the meaning of tantra and tantric since.
So, let’s dig into that a little, yeah?
To begin, what are both tantra and tantric sex?
I’ll refer to some experts in this space here as I’m learning as we go, also. Masterclass, the streaming platform that runs over 100 courses in almost any area you can think of, offers a guide to Sex and Communication with Emily Morse.
The website has shared some insight into tantra and tantric sex as a branch of that course. Here’s how it describes these two terms.
“Tantric sex is a method of sexual intercourse that aims to achieve mindfulness and deep connection for its participants through breathwork, prolonged eye contact, embraces, massage, and slow, deliberate intercourse. Tantric sex is one component of tantra (“weave” in Sanskrit), a spiritual belief system from India that focuses on mind-body connections. The goal of tantric sex is to move sexual energy between participants to facilitate healing, transformation, and spiritual growth.”
Certified Tantra Educator Leslie Grace, R.N also shared some insights into the practice in a piece she wrote for Mindbodygreen. Here, she explained that tantra “refers to weaving together or uniting the masculine and feminine forces within all of us, heaven and earth, the human body with the transcendent, collapsing the polarities”.
“Sacred or tantric sex”, she explained, is one way to harness this weaving that’s so central to the world of tantra.
As the Masterclass exploration into tantric sex continued, this is just one part of the spiritual belief system of tantra which is rooted in elements from ancient Hindu, Buddhist, and Jain traditions.
What does the practice of tantric sex look like?
So, I suppose the key thing to know here is that tantra doesn’t have to involve sexual acts. As The Bachelorette highlighted, intimate breathing exercises, eye contact and physical closeness are all a part of this powerful approach to connectedness.
But, obviously, tantric sex does relate to sexual activities of all kinds.
Grace explained that “A typical tantra session involves the subtle realms of sex, including slow embraces, gentle caresses, getting present within the body, and focusing on the movement of energy between the partners’ bodies”.
The Masterclass team elaborated somewhat, sharing that there are lots of benefits to trialling this approach to intimate acts.
This includes things like a release from expectation, increased mindfulness in sex, “a deeper connection… whether you’re exploring tantric sexuality with a partner or on your own” and extended sexual interactions (though this isn’t the key goal, and isn’t always the case).
On that last point, the Masterclass team wrote:
“From long sessions of foreplay to ‘edging’ (a sexual practice that involves cycles of intense stimulation while holding off climax for increased pleasure), tantric sex often lasts longer than traditional sexual intercourse.”
Just remember to prioritise everyone’s comfort above all else when trying anything new in the bedroom, yeah?
Key actions and positions
Devika Singh, a tantric sex and relationship coach, shared some key tips and positions that beginners can begin with via Refinery29 a few years back. Here are some from her list, related to partnered intimacy.
Go slow: “Try touching each other, and understanding that everything is more about pleasure first, and then the orgasm comes after,” Singh told R29.
Give Yab-Yum a try: This is a common position used in tantric sex. Essentially, one partner takes a seat and the other perches themselves on their partner’s lap, wrapping their legs around them. Use this position to look into one another’s eyes and synchronise your breath, Singh shared.
Next-level kissing: Tantric sex asks that you try and incorporate all your senses into kissing, Singh explained. How can you introduce sight, smell, taste, touch and smell?
Eye-gazing: Eye contact is another major element, referenced in almost every piece on tantric sex I’ve found. Use it to develop a stronger sense of closeness with your partner.
Is anyone keen to give these a go? Feel free to check out the full MasterClass explainer here if you want to keep learning.