How To Give Earth-Shattering Blowjobs (And Love It)

How To Give Earth-Shattering Blowjobs (And Love It)
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While we’re all fairly familiar with the act of the blowjob, it’s one that many are still a little too uncomfortable to openly discuss. What that leads to is loads of people feeling uncertain about how to approach the sex act, and looking for advice on ways to ensure they’re giving their partner the best blowjob they possibly can.

When it comes to sex acts in general the best advice we can offer is that you only ever engage in something you and your partner are 100 per cent comfortable with and that communication sits at the centre of every single encounter.
However, if you’re curious about blowjobs and the techniques you can apply when going down, Vanessa Marin – a sex therapist – has offered her expert advice below.

How to give the best blowjob possible

Get comfortable

On average, men and people with penises take three to five minutes to orgasm, so you don’t usually need to worry about finding a position that will be comfortable for the long haul. Still, you want to find a position that feels good for you.

It’s generally easiest to be on your knees (put a blanket or pillow underneath if you’re on a hard surface), in between his legs. He can be sitting on the edge of the bed or sofa (he can lie back if he wants), or even standing. Being able to watch is an extremely hot part of the process, so it’s nice to give him a good view.

You can even position yourselves in front of a mirror if you really want to play up the voyeuristic aspect. Both of you can get a view.

Get right to it

You can warm him up a bit by rubbing your hand over his underwear, but try to get to work relatively quickly. Most men I’ve spoken with don’t like an excessive amount of teasing.

Some have said it even feels a little uncomfortable or ticklish. If you’re going to tease, try slipping a tongue or finger beneath the waistband of his underwear before pulling them off, or holding his dick in your hand while you ask him what he wants you to do with it.

If he’s not fully hard right after you take off his clothes, take advantage of the situation by taking his entire penis into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it while he grows bigger. It might be the only time you’re able to get the full thing in your mouth, so have fun!

If he’s already erect, start at the base of his penis and make a few long, slow licks from the base to the tip. Keep your tongue broad and flat.

Find your rhythm

Once you’re ready to get down to business, you’ll want to get his dick nice and wet and establish a good baseline technique. Slide your mouth up and down his penis a few times, making sure to keep your tongue pressed against the underside of his dick.

You want to try to maintain a tight seal with your mouth, without allowing any contact with your teeth. Try to gather up as much saliva as you can, and slowly let it fall out of your mouth as you traverse his dick. Don’t worry about getting too sloppy at this point; the wetter the better.

Once you’ve gotten him lubed up, use your hand and mouth in tandem. Most people’s mouths aren’t big enough to accommodate an average-sized penis, so your hand can help you get more coverage.

You can use your hand to stimulate the majority of the shaft, and your mouth to stimulate the head. The shaft tends to be the least-sensitive part of the male genitalia, so you can use more pressure than you might think. The head of the penis is much more fine-tuned to stimulation, so your warm, wet mouth will be gladly welcomed.

Firmly wrap your dominant hand around the base of his penis, like you’re giving it a good handshake. Bring your lips down to meet your hand. Pretend that your mouth and your fist are glued together, and move up and down his penis for a minute or two.

This will be the standard move that you can return to at any point, and a great starting point for any great blowjob.

Get the balls involved

The testicles are often criminally neglected during oral sex. As soon as you feel comfortable with your basic technique, start paying some attention to the balls. You can do this with either your hand or your mouth.

First, take the entire scrotum into your non-dominant hand. Testicles are sensitive, so you’ll need to find a good balance between grasping firmly enough (too light will feel ticklish), and not being too rough. Roll his balls around in your hand while you continue sucking his dick. Give the whole sack a few gentle tugs.

Very gently use your thumb and forefinger to pinch the skin between the two balls, and slide your fingers from the base of his scrotum to the tips of his testicles. Then try focusing on his balls with your mouth.

Keep your hand going on his penis as you lick all around his testicles with a broad, flat tongue. Try taking each ball in your mouth for a minute. You can also try licking in between the balls, going all the way from the back of his scrotum to the front.

Explore other techniques

Once you’ve settled into your basic stroke, it’s time to shake things up a bit! Most men enjoy variety during a blowjob, but just like with cunnilingus, everyone likes different things.

Use this time to try to get a sense of what he enjoys best. Try out two different techniques and ask him, “what do you like better?” Or pay attention to his moaning or to the way his body is moving to get a sense of what’s working.

Here are some things to try when giving a blowjob:

  • Try moving your tongue around on the underside of his penis while you do your basic up-and-down manoeuvre.
  • Spend a little time focusing on his frenulum, which is the seam on the underside of his penis. For many men, this is the most sensitive area. Make your tongue pointy, and lick up and down or side to side.
  • Try sucking directly on the frenulum itself.
  • Hold the base of his penis in your hand while you move your lips back and forth over the ridge between the head of his penis and the shaft. You’ll only need to move about an inch.
  • Do the basic stroke with your hand and mouth, but turn your wrist back and forth as you move up and down.
  • Gently slap his penis on your tongue. This is a good move to try if your jaw needs a little break.
  • For a longer respite, you can rub his dick over your lips, face, or breasts (if you have ’em).
  • Alternate between using just your mouth and using just your hand.

Go for the arsehole

Queer folk are usually clued in to the magic of the arsehole, but straight guys can be more squeamish. The anus is still pretty taboo in our society, but it’s really time that we just get over it. Your arsehole feels good, people and it’s a great asset when giving a blowjob.

Still, I recommend getting explicit permission from your partner instead of just gunning for his butt.

If your partner is a little shy or unsure, try stimulating his perineum, which is the strip of skin between his balls and his arsehole (otherwise known as the taint, or grundle). It’s not the arsehole itself, so many guys will feel more comfortable getting stimulated there.

The perineum usually responds best to firm pressure, so try pressing a single knuckle into that area. You can try kneading the skin with your knuckle, or you can simply exert pressure.

If he’s up for anal play, you’ll need to use some lube. I think silicone lube works best in this instance. Put a dab on your pointer finger, and slowly run your finger up and down his crack.

Once you’ve found the arsehole, you can simply press your fingertip against the opening. If he’s pushing his hips against your hand, try slowly inserting your finger. You don’t need to go in that far; even just an inch or two works. Gently slide your finger in and out of him.

If you’ve got this down, you can go for the gold standard of great blowjobs – a finger in the arsehole, the remaining fingers of that hand wrapped around the balls, the other hand on the dick, and the dick in the mouth. He’ll be blowing his load in no time.

What to do after

Ah, the age-old swallow or spit debate. Look, one of my bottom lines as a sex therapist is that we all get to make our own decisions about what feels right for our sex lives. If you’re genuinely uncomfortable with swallowing, keep a box of tissues nearby and discretely spit into them when he’s finished. If he’s into being messy, you can make a show of it by letting his semen slip out of your mouth and onto his dick.

I’d also invite the spitters out there to consider the Golden Rule. How would you feel watching your partner leap up right after you were finished, and try to get rid of your juices as quickly as possible? It would be hard not to feel self-conscious about your genitals, and we all have enough of that already, don’t we?

Enthusiasm is king

If there’s one tip you should walk away from this entire article with, it’s that enthusiasm is the best quality in an incredible blow job.

One of the most effective ways you can show your enthusiasm is by initiating the blowjob. If you’re sitting around watching another Netflix marathon, tell him, “you know, I’d rather have your dick in my mouth right now”.

Keep that enthusiasm going once you’re mid-blow-job, too. Moan loudly and energetically. Look him in the eyes and smile. Keep telling him how hot it makes you to be pleasuring him.

You’ll know when you’ve really turned a corner with your blowjob technique when you do genuinely enjoy it! Because really, is there any better feeling than knowing you’re fully in control of bringing an exquisite amount of pleasure to someone else?

That’s the best blowjob possible.

This article on the best blowjob technique has been updated since its original publish date. 

Comments

  • Is there an associated article on cunnilingus?
    Or is that [ahem] “coming soon” ?

  • Wow. Amazing article. I read it all! which is rare because I usually skim. It gave great tips that I will try and also taught me a few things I didn’t know. Enthusiasm is king – I think that’s the best tip of all!

  • “Go For The Arsehole”

    Not if she wants to get a People’s Elbow through the living room coffee table, she won’t.

    • “Still, I recommend getting explicit permission from your partner instead of just gunning for his butt.”

      Also you missed a negative in your hilarious domestic violence-themed response.

  • “Look him in the eyes”
    For god’s sake… that is the key for me.

    Stay away from the balls; yeah, the ass is nice; but that look is the thing.

    Sigh. Now to get my boyfriend to blow me.

  • If you’re genuinely uncomfortable with swallowing, keep a box of tissues nearby and discretely spit into them when he’s finished.
    That assumes she wants any of it in her mouth in the first place. Failing to continue sucking during climax is equivalent to a guy (or girl) switching from tongue to finger during cunnilingus just at the point of climax – it disrupts the whole show. Ultimately though as the article says, we each have to make our own decisions about what feels right for our sex lives, and no one should be pressured into doing something they don’t want to do.

  • I’ve never given a blowjob and even I know how this works.
    1) Work the shaft
    2) Cup my balls
    3) Say my name

    • There you have it – @strand0410 has never given a bj but knows how it works in three nice and easy steps. Pin this to the front door of the internet and turn the lights off as you leave. We are done people!

    • Alright, but he’ll be wondering why I’m saying your name. I might need to show him your comment for context.

  • Post climax, go back down and continue sucking. Like he is a thick shake, for 30-60seconds.
    When he regains consciousness he will love you for it.

  • How has the “Share to Facebook” button been used 56 times so far?? Are there really 56 passive-agressive men brave enough to share this publicly so their wives/girlfriends see it? Hats off to you, sirs.

  • This was really good. Now do an article on how to actually get your partner to give you a blowjob. My wife hasn’t done that for years (because, and quote “I don’t like the taste of precum / cum”). She loved to do it when we dated (and when she was drunk) but not any more.

    As a result, Steak and BJ day just isn’t the same, so an article on “how to enjoy it” or “how to overcome the barriers that’s stopping you” or even one on what dudes can do to make it better for her, would be ace.

    • My suggestion mate, plan for a few days to eat foods known to positively affect the taste (pineapple, cranberries, watermelon, celery) and avoid those that make it taste worse (coffee, asparagus, meats, beer and milk based things, eggs, onions and broccoli).

      It might mean having a few salads, wraps, simple sandwiches (chicken is ok apparently) and having some peppermint tea instead of morning coffee etc. Then ask if she’s willing to try again as you’ve taken steps to improve it – see what happens.

  • This was a good read, sharing with my partner.
    I completely agree that enthusiasm is the most important part; feeling like she doesn’t want to pleasure me completely kills it.

  • sexy tip to give good fellatio is to use some force on him. Your man wants to feel you manhandle him a bit so don’t be scared to use some pressure on him. He wants you to be rough with him so give your man the pleasure that he wants. Use your hand to be rough with him as your mouth is far too gentle.

  • Oral sex is a great sex experience, but also have to do security measures, we must use condoms, so that you and your sexual partners have a safe and pleasant experience

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