I try my best to keep an open mind when reading new and creative food hacks from around this world-wide web of ours. I mean, just imagine if I’d never given popcorn salad a chance. How sad would that be? (Moderately sad.) But even still, there are a few “hacks” I have avoided for years, and we’re testing one of them today.
This two-ingredient bagel recipe has been boppin’ around the internet in some form or another for years, and I’ve never tried it because I don’t enjoy being yelled at by New Yorkers. I was also half-raised by a Jewish stepfather and — though I don’t care for him on a personal level — he did introduce me to real bagels, and for that I’m grateful. My point is that I know enough about bagels to know that you cannot make bagels with self-rising flour and yogurt, but Joel and I made them anyway, because a certain staffer who shall remain nameless (until you watch the video) told us that we should.
If you take any iteration of this recipe and run it through A.A. Newton’s “how to spot a good bagel recipe” checklist, you will find that it doesn’t meet any of the requirements. There is no boiling (and thus no chewy crust), and there is no refrigeration period (yogurt does not give the dough that same tangy slowly-fermented flavour) — heck, there isn’t even any yeast.
I won’t tell you what we ended up making with these two ingredients — you’ll have to watch the video for that — but I can tell you that we did not make bagels. (And I can tell you that Joel is upset, but he will recover. We just need to feed him more popcorn salad.)