Recently, I have been ending my evenings with an episode or three of The Sopranos. It’s my first time watching the series, and I am (obviously) a fan. My favourite character? The pasta — or, as my Connecticut-born, half-Italian boyfriend calls it, the “macaroni.”
Depending on the season and episode, the macaroni can get as much screen time as Paulie Walnuts. The Sopranos are always eating macaroni. Besides breakfast, it is present at every meal, often as a side to an already substantial main. The macaroni comes in many shapes, with many sauces, but never with ranch. After all, who would dare to put a store-bought salad dressing on spaghetti? Someone bold, someone daring, someone like Saweetie.
When I first saw the video of Saweetie dousing a plate of pasta with ranch dressing, I was not as alarmed as everyone else on Twitter seemed to be. (My half-Italian boyfriend? Very alarmed — horrified even — but Italian-Americans are passionate about their macaroni.) I am not Italian-American. I am someone who orders pineapple on her pizza and occasionally dips it in ranch. I’ve also eaten spaghetti next to a side salad that was dressed with ranch, so have experienced the combination in an indirect way (and enjoyed it). The flavour combination didn’t strike me as particularly unhinged, is what I’m saying, even if Saweetie’s application was a little heavy-handed.
But tasting is believing, so I teamed up with Jess from The Root to do a little tasting. Jess was far more sceptical than I was — I really wanted to like the spaghetti ranch, because I love ranch and I love spaghetti, and I wanted all of those people who were bullying Saweetie for her culinary choices to be proven wrong. Things, unfortunately, did not go my way. I don’t want to spoil the whole video, but I will say this: Carmela Soprano would say “basta” to this pasta.