Should You Add Cheetos to Your Macaroni?

I love innovation and, for the most part, I think preciousness around certain foods does us all a disservice, but some things are indefensible, and this one, particular blonde lady must be stopped.

Look. If the potato chip mash debacle taught us anything, it’s that I’m not the best at differentiating sincere (but bad) food posts from straight-up shit posts, and further investigation has shown that I have been bamboozled once again. I really did think that Getti (whose TikTok is mostly dedicated to hula hooping videos which are very cool) was sincerely advocating that people boil Flaming Hot Cheetos and toss the resulting, violently red goop with Kraft. What a fool.

Anyway I made it, and made Joel do the same, and you can watch the horror unfold at your leisure. I did not expect to like Getti’s Mac ‘n’ Cheetos, but I was surprised by how underwhelming it was. It was not good, but it was very, very bland (and red). Melting the corn snacks into a paste created a substance that tasted not of cheese, but of mass-produced corn mush, and the Flaming Hot powder, which goes on the outside of the snack for a reason, was completely obscured. (If you want a mac that really tastes like Flaming Hot Cheetos, you can buy a box for about a buck. Thanks, capitalism!)

Besides the waste of perfectly good Cheetos, the most offensive thing about Getti’s mac was the aesthetics of it. This is one of the ugliest dishes I have ever prepared, and I come from the land of aspic and Jell-O salads. But the true horror unfolded after Joel and I said our goodbyes and the cameras were turned off. You see, what Getti fails to mention is that, once this unholy marriage of Kraft and Cheeto cools to room temperature, it congeals into a very upsetting glob of mass-produced food horror. I hated it. I still hate it. I will always hate it.