We’re Waffling Egg Rolls for Breakfast, Because Why Not

To me, the lines between “breakfast,” “lunch,” and “dinner” have always been blurry. Mealtimes are, after all, constructs created to fit the needs of the people, and they vary greatly from culture to culture. The Romans didn’t eat breakfast, and the British have an elaborate “tea” system I have yet to fully grasp. (Based on social media, I think “tea” is their word for “supper,” but also literal tea served with little sandwiches and fancy cakes. It’s confusing!)

This is all to say that I’m not very concerned with eating the “right” foods at the “right” times, but I am interested in giving pretty much every food a breakfast vibe, which is one of the better vibes. The easiest way to make something read as “breakfasty” is to put an egg on it, but some things hold eggs better than others.

Noodles, for example, hold eggs quite well; so do burgers. So do — and we knew I’d get here eventually — waffles, thanks to their flat, rough surface. Egg rolls, on the other hand, are too round for optimum egg holding, but that’s all fixed with a quick smoosh in the waffle maker.

Could you eat a round egg roll with a side of eggs? Yes! But you wouldn’t egg that perfect, complete bite. Waffling an egg roll flattens and texturises it, letting it hold an egg with ease. It also creates those classic waffled divots, which are ideal for holding syrup or a mixture of soy sauce and hot honey (which is what I poured on mine in the pic above). You can waffle leftover egg rolls, or you can waffle frozen egg rolls. Frozen are slightly me more involved, but only slightly.

To waffle a leftover take-out egg roll, gently press it between the (medium-high) hot plates of a nonstick waffle maker until it is warmed throughout and crisps up on the outside. This should take about three or four minutes. To waffle a frozen egg roll, place it on the hinged side of the waffle maker and close it, letting the top plate rest on the top of the egg roll. After about a minute, gently press down, but don’t force the waffle maker closed.

Repeat every minute or so until you can almost close the waffle maker with gentle pressure. (This takes about five minutes for one frozen egg roll and 10 minutes for two.) Once the egg roll is hot, crisp, and fairly flat, remove it from the waffle maker, top it with a fried egg, and drizzle a 50/50 mixture of soy sauce and honey on top. Eat immediately, no matter the hour.