Stop Your Hands From Sweating While Playing Video Games

This weekend is gonna be like vacationing beneath the folds of Satan’s ballsack. And in our own way we’re gonna have to manage it.

Me? I’m planning on drawing every goddamn curtain in the house and playing some video games. Only one problem – what am I gonna do about the sweaty palms? Ladies and gentleman, I have the solution.


Yes. Chalk.

What a pure genius idea. I’m only half joking.

As someone who is into rock climbing and has a lot of chalk at home, there is a slight flaw in this plan. Chalk can make a mess. Hand prints on your couch, controllers covered in chalk. It’s gonna suck.

So, plan B.

Liquid chalk.

Warning: strange, sexual sounding paragraph incoming.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure, liquid chalk is magical. You squirt a little on your hand, rub furiously and after about 10 seconds something weird starts happening. Friction. Suddenly your hands are gonna be sticky as hell.

Liquid chalk is pure wizardry. Pretty pricey though. Usually about $15 at climbing stores or climbing gyms.

So yeah, you could do that. Or just get a fan. Or just play with a sweaty controller.

Christ, do what you like, I’m not your real Dad.

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