A lot of restaurants bring out bread “for the table,” but most of those restaurants do not bring enough butter for the amount of bread that is brought. Like only serving appetisers with an odd number of edible items, it’s unclear if they skimp on butter to create strife, or if it’s out of some sort of fiscal concern, but either way I don’t like it.
Rationing a couple of tablespoons of butter sprinkled with four flakes of Maldon salt so they last for half of an artisanal boule is a literal hunger game. The scarcity creates uncertainty (Am I an uncouth slob who butters my bread too liberally?), panic (The butter! It’s dwindling!), and just general unease. None of these things are desirable at any time, but they are downright unwanted on a first date.
I have a theory that everyone has a first-date POWER MOVE.
Mine is ordering more butter for the table what’s yours?
— Sable Yong (@Sabletoothtigre) January 13, 2020
This is why my friend Sable is brilliant. Being the bold, confident person who orders more butter for the table is absolutely, without a doubt, a first date power move. It radiates BDE, and broadcasts to your date (and anyone else in the restaurant paying attention) that you are here for a good time, no matter how long that time may be. You are comfortable satisfying your desires, unafraid of pleasure, and refuse to let someone else dictate the amount of creamy cultured dairy you enjoy, for you are not a follower.
But you are a provider. You are thoughtful, attentive to the needs of those around you, and capable of interacting with service industry professionals in a polite but direct manner. You’re a fucking adult, is what I’m saying, and that is exactly how you want to present yourself on a first date. (I mean, I’m sure platonic friends and family will appreciate you asking for butter so they don’t have to, but it’s most effective as a first impression.) So ask for extra butter on your next first date. You don’t even have to wait for the supply to dwindle; thinking ahead is also very sexy.