The Super Bowl Is Only Good For Appliance Sales

The Super Bowl Is Only Good For Appliance Sales

If you’re a “sports” “fan” like me, then you would happily do anything else on Monday than watch football (or as I assume the Europeans call it, soccer).

However, my utter disdain for the Super Bowl is not merely rooted in the sports-ness of it—it’s the whole experience. The big game tries to draw in the whole family with its showy (wasteful) commercials and flashy (excessive) halftime show. (Do we really need to gather around to watch commercials and listen to recorded music? That’s why we have Spotify.) Even if your friends insist that “No one is interested in the game! Just come!” There will always be the one person shushing you so they can watch intently.

So instead of taking part in the Super Bowl, I suggest several other activities to occupy your time. How about going out to watch one of the current Oscar nominees? Or go to a nice dinner—any non-sports themed establishment will be totally empty. Are you really going to feel that bad about missing a game that you didn’t follow for the rest of the season anyway?

And, OK, you’re probably thinking that I’m bullying sports for no good reason. So in the interest of sportsmanship (blech) I will offer some good things about the Super Bowl. First, there are often great sales on TVs and grills, which they will let you buy for non-football related uses. It is also, of course, the only time when roman numerals re-enter out collective awareness. So someone somewhere could be like “Wait, what number is L?”, and then they’ll look it up and learn something.

I’m not quite sure what a “49’er” is, but it certainly sounds offensive to someone.

Comments


Leave a Reply