Three Ways To Hide Booze When You Shouldn’t Be Drinking

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Drinking in public? For shame! Unless it’s a B&S. Or a barbecue. Or you had a really long day and just want a beer. Here are three ways to hide your booze when you aren’t supposed to be drinking.

In Public: The Drink Can Sleeve

If you feel like drinking in public but don’t to give yourself away, it’s easy to hide your booze in any non-alcoholic container. You could put vodka in a water bottle, or whiskey in your cola bottle. I once drank beer at a university open mic night out of a travel coffee mug. Literally anything will do.

But sometimes, these aren’t enough. Sometimes, the authorities are actively looking for people hiding their alcohol in coffee cups (say, at a public park, or the beach). In these situations, it helps to go the extra mile: cut up a Coke can and put it around your beer, like a sleeve. No one’s going to look too closely at a Coke can. Well, hopefully. (They also make products designed for this, but why buy something you can make yourself?)

On A Boat: The Listerine Bottle

Dude, stuff alcohol prices on cruises. Want to bring your own on board? Empty out those mouthwash bottles (your breath was fine anyway), pour in some vodka, and add a little food colouring to make it look like the real deal. You can even slip the seal back on to make it look brand new. If you want to go really overboard (no pun intended), you can heat up plastic water bottles to keep the bottle cap seals intact.

At A Concert: The Upside-Down Potato Crisp Bag

This one is one of my own creation, and can actually be used for non-alcoholic beverages too. Lots of outdoor concert venues let you bring in coolers with snacks, but won’t allow alcohol. Some won’t even allow you to bring water. So how do you get out of paying excessive prices? Hide them in your crisps!

My preferred method is to take an empty potato chip bag, throw your beverages of choice inside, and staple it back up. It helps if you open the bag from the bottom (you know, if you have the foresight to do so). Then, stick it in your esky with the rest of your snacks, and — provided they don’t look too closely — you’ll be home free once you get through securityPhoto by Espensorvik.

Of course, these are far from the only options, and every situation requires its own fine-tuned booze hiding method. Share your own below. And good luck with that hangover the next day.


This story has been updated since its original publication.

Comments

  • Wow…. While your at it you should promote neck nomination, hanging a goon bag from a clothesline, vodka eyeballing, king hit competitions and maybe even “how to score alcohol when your underage”.

    Maybe I’m biased as a liquor licensee in Australia (and I know your not in Aus yourself). But, especially in the current day and age, with so many people not being taught how to have a good time while drinking without writing themselves off or killing someone and binge drinking becoming the normal, dangerous procedure for young people across the globe. I find it unbelievable and more than a bit disgusting that an arrival like this would be written here, as an instruction to promote those very ideals to people.
    I run one of these “unreasonable venues that doesn’t allow people to bring in drinks”. And our prices are actually pretty good, and we give away water free so you don’t need to bring it (we would need to ban it if people didn’t think they were being clever filling it with vodka). We have to be so strict because we are responsible for your stupidity. We are responsible for your consumption. We are responsible for your safety. And when things go wrong we are responsible for your life.
    Drinking is a massive part of any culture, especially here. But this sort of thing is the reason the governments keep increasing laws and closing venues, then where will you sneak your bottle of vodka into?

    This site is fantastic, one of my favourite. But I really expected more, especially from the editor and chief….

    /rant over

    Sorry for going on, but I’m just completely stunned to even see this here….

      • I see you get your share of the Neanderthal genome in that part of your brain that controls intelligence…

        • The bit that struggles with poor grammar?

          Yes.

          While I tend to agree with the sentiments outlined in @hdesign’s rant, he/she did indeed lose me a ‘your’. You can’t expect anyone to take what you have to say seriously, when they have to stop, think and reread your first sentence, only 3% into whatever it is you have to say.

          You might find these glaring errors easy to circumnavigate, but I find them akin to watching an episode of Geordie Shore.

          • I consider myself a lil less of a pretentious, stuck up prat with an omnipotent intelligence that engenders me to be a complete over compensated tosser when posting, so I don’t have the same issues

            have you ever been diagnosed for Aspergers??

          • I just hope we can still be friends.

            No, actually, I mean it – I do often quite enjoy your comments! 🙂

          • I’m assuming you generally disagree with his comments but can’t structure an argument of your own, so instead you’re just attacking his grammar.

          • Do you think it’s clever to use Aspergers diagnosis as an insult?

            That’s actually pretty poor behaviour, sunshine. Not cool.

    • fair comment, well said. id agree, LH seems to have regressed to teenage mindlessness

      not just from your point of view but from the point of being a responsible, culpable part of society

      not all rules are there so they can be broken, and its not an expression of freedom to treat common sense regulation with respect

      Ed – this is a joke of an article and unless youre trying to get exposure on tabloid TV for your site then all youre doing is insulting your readers by the insinuation that we are desperate penny pinching drunks.

    • waah waah, I’m a rentseeker and I hate it when people don’t throw $arbitary at me but instead of coming out and admitting that, I’ll cloak it in some laughable ‘its for your own good! thinkofthechildren!’.

      Because, kids, everyone knows that bars diligently enforce RSA, and no person has ever been drunk in a bar, been served while drunk or punched someone else in a pub. It’s all those naughty non-payers.

    • i think you’d be better off just waving your walking stick there.

      also, while we’re talking about moral panics, vodka eyeballing is one of those bullshit things that is passed off as ‘news’ – but does not actually happen.

      • Vodka eyeballing – if you’re referring to injecting alcohol into the eyeball then yes, it does happen. I’ve not taken part in it, but I’ve seen it done (it may have been into the tear duct though, I was too shocked to look closely). This was on an oil rig production facility in Scotland. Deprive a determined Scotsman of alcohol and he’ll find a way to make the most of the tiny amounts he can get.

  • Isn’t it a big early for evil week again? If you are going to a concert, just accept you won’t get it in, and will have the buy the expensive stuff inside. Even festivals will make you throw away everything unless it is a sandwich. Especially since last year at the Sydney Soundwave some arsehat took a flare in. The cops aren’t stupid, normally the teenagers with vodka in their water bottle, pouring it out on the road while being interrogated are.

  • Restricting access to and/or over-pricing basic hydration such as water should be illegal. 😛

    • I was under the impression that if a venue served alcohol they were required by law to provide free drinking water. Though it may vary from state to state I guess.

  • I like hearing the stories about people who get caught trying this sort of stuff. My favourite was the guy who had a bottle of vodka inside a hollowed out loaf of bread. Security got suspicious when he was seen drinking from the loaf.

    In saying that, I have plenty of friends that use much sneakier methods than these when they go to the cricket.

  • I’m thinking if you really need to drink alcohol so badly that you need to conceal it, you probably have a far worse problem, and you maybe should seek counseling… I really don’t think it’s necessary to promote this sort of behaviour in todays “Coward Hit” climate either…

    • The fact that you are drawing conclusions about someone’s mental state and recommending ‘counseling’ because they don’t want to pay $11 for a midstrength drink at the cricket says more about you than them.

      Also, there is no ‘coward hit’ climate. There is a definite whiff of wowserism and dummies being spoonfed opinions by the sensationalist media, though.

      • This is a comments section, and there are going to be comments for and against… If you want to drink booze at the cricket, fill yer boots mate, my point was just to highlight people who maybe have lost control of their habit, of which there are quite a few…! So imho quite relevant..!! As for me I stopped drinking when I was old enough and mature enough to realise it’s not the best habit in the world to have….!!Also, there is no ‘coward hit’ climateGiven the amount of people reported as either dead or damn near because some drunken dick lost all sense of common decency, and the no doubt myriad that wasn’t reported, I beg to differ…!

        • Assault, murder and manslaughter rates have all been falling for a decade. Whether you choose to differ or not is irrelevant, it’s an objective fact. Feel free to go to BOSCAR and verify it, if you wish – rather than letting the Tele tell you what to think.

          • Assault, murder and manslaughter rates have all been falling for a decadeNone of which have anything to do with the amount of violence occurring both out side and in pubs and clubs. It may not be a new phenomenon, but it certainly has gotten worse lately. As for the quip about the “Tele”, where else am I going to get that sort of information, it’s certainly not broadcast anywhere convenient, now is it…? Unless of course I ask very specific questions in a web search that is. Pull ‘yer head out of the sand and at least consider the recent spate of deaths and maimings as being a real trend…!

          • Wait… so non-domestic assault rates have nothing to do with… assault rates?

            Okay. You just run with your second hand anecdotal evidence, then. If that’s what you want to believe.

          • I’m talking about specific crimes that involve alcohol, your talking about general crime rates that aren’t related…. Not really rocket science now is it..? Anyway I’m tired of your hyperbole, so… see ya..!

      • bull crap ask any hospo who has been around for a while – its gotten a lot worse because arrogant SOBs have no outlet to vent and then whack…. and yes alcohol does cause it, along with drugs. at the end of the day those that deny alcohol damage are blind to the bigger picture

        if you need to sneak alcohol in, you have a problem… youre either too young, an alcho or hanging out at the wrong venues – go to a bieber concert or an outdoor rave

        the fact of your response says far more about you than Timmah

        • Yeah, ask a self-selecting population. Unless ‘hospos’ also wander around the city high-fiving people who are having a quiet night out and remaining uninjured, their subjective opinion is going to be pretty skewed, isn’t it? Any kid who did year 12 math could point out problems with your battler wisdom.

          But hey, facts are ‘bull crap’. Winner. Oh, and a Bieber joke! HILARIOUS.

          I can see why kneejerk solutions have so much traction among the statistical illiterates, though.

    • I had a beer last week, made me want to punch a wall as soon as I took my first sip.

      God knows what would have happened if I took two sips.

  • Can we have an article on cheating on your taxes next? I need some good advice on cheating on my taxes. Also, some advice on hiding the body would be useful. Those dry ice costs are adding up.

  • So many party animals in here – I wanna come to one of your soda LAN parties where we can drink pop all night and raid bases. Anyone caught drinking will be perma-banned.

    Nothing sounds more fun than hanging out with you guys.

  • If the festival was close enough to home me and my friends would visit the location a week or two beforehand and bury water bottles filled with vodka in a place we knew we could safely access and recover them on the day. Only once did this not work for us when they changed the layout of the festival one year.

    I think it’s safe to say we each saved about $100 on drinks every time. The prices they charge for alcohol at these kinds of events is an absolute joke.

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