When you start to share a bed with another human, platonic, romantic or otherwise (I'm sure there's a third category), it's a natural tendency to choose to one side and stick to it. That way you can set up a bedside table, fall into your mattress groove and avoid any crusty dried-up dribble your sleep-time co-habitant leaves on their pillow. But some contrarians exist out there in the dark sanctums of the world who refuse to succumb to logic. Twitter just recently discovered one of these anomalies and everyone is freaking out.
Jeff Stein, a Washington Post reporter took to Twitter to describe a disturbing revelation he'd heard from a friend regarding their sleeping habits. The friend admitted they and their partner did not have assigned sides of the bed each night.
Several months ago, a couple we are friends with said they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night. As in, every night when they get into bed, they don’t know who will sleep on which side. Still blows my mind
— Jeff Stein (@JStein_WaPo) July 27, 2019
Stein later updated the couple only had one nightstand, which housed both their phones overnight while a windowsill holds their water bottles. There was no mention of whether the couple needs to fight over a power point to charge their phone. Where their lip balms are located and whether they share pillows is also unconfirmed.
UPDATE: The man in the couple in question confirms via DM that they only have 1 nightstand. (However, he appropriately chides me for not fact-checking first.) He also says there is a window ledge on the other side w/ space for a water bottle, while the nightstand holds the phones
— Jeff Stein (@JStein_WaPo) July 28, 2019
So, how common is it for sleeping partners to choose one side? About 40 per cent of people from the United States, according to a survey, have always slept on the same side. Once sleeping partners locked in their side of the bed, changing it up was not easy. About 51 per cent of them would prefer to give up the remote control than their side of the bed.
But facts weren't enough to stop the loud outrage train that ensued once the news was out.
Bold of you to admit you’re friends with serial killers publicly.
— Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) July 28, 2019
I've been forced to alternate sides every 2-3 months to protect the mattress or something (because I'm lighter and make less of an indent? God only knows), and the first few nights are honestly somewhat distressing. I just want to stick to my side, the familiarity is comforting.
— KM (@RoboHungarian) July 28, 2019
Everything about this is so upsetting to me
— Leah Greenberg (@Leahgreenb) July 28, 2019
Most of us have experienced a restless night of tossing and turning. Perhaps you have a big event the next day and can't switch your brain off. Or maybe you slept in that morning and screwed up your body clock. Whatever the reason, there are a handful of tricks you can employ - backed by science - that will speed up the sandman's Uber to your front door.