When someone is rude to you or says something really stupid, sometimes you need more than a GIF or a facial expression to tell them off. Send them a song by rapper and comedian Jean Grae, from her albums That’s Not How You Do That and That’s Not How You Do That Either.
Both are full of short, funny, petty songs about the annoying things people do. While the first is only available on Bandcamp, the second is also available in convenient YouTube form, which you can copy-paste into a chat or a comment thread:
The salsa song “Well, Actually” addresses those doofuses who have to correct everyone else, even when there’s actually no mistake. “Thank you for all your help, man, you really are so smart,” it goes. “I thought I knew all these facts about my own life. But you know more!”
If you have a lot of tattoos, you’ll recognise the stupid questions people ask you in the song “Yes. Tattoos Hurt.” If someone’s playing their music too loud, blast them back with “Use Your Fucking Headphones”. And get back at your rudest relatives on Facebook by posting “Don’t Be a Dick to the Waitstaff”.
If you can’t actually play these songs at the people pissing you off, listen to them on your headphones and soothe yourself knowing that you’re in the right, everyone else is rude, and at least one singer-songwriter is on your side.