Some people are adept at being emotionally present enough with their partner to regularly check in, voice appreciation and send a sweet or funny text just because. And some people are … not.
If you have trouble expressing your emotions to the people you care about most—or you just plain forget to—the solution could be simple: Send yourself a few reminders throughout the day.
When Chris Welch, an editor at The Verge, jokingly tweeted last week about a marriage counseling app that reminds users to express daily appreciation, text something to make their partner smile or ask about their day, a lot of people responded with variations on actually, this is a good idea.
— Chris Welch (@chriswelch) June 21, 2019
As one responder said, “As someone with ADHD, I think this can be very helpful. I think my friends would vouch I am a well-meaning person but my brain has trouble consistently expressing these things.”
It might be helpful, others pointed out, for those who are battling anxiety or depression – or simply those who are not naturally wired to be supportive or present partners but want to get better at it.
Welch came around, linking followers to the original marriage counseling app, which is called “Lasting.”
It’s $11.99 per month, which is kind of steep (but to be fair, it does more than just send you text reminders, and if this is the thing that saves your relationship then, hey, it might be a good deal).
But you can achieve the same goal (for free) by setting regular calendar reminders on your cell, writing it down as a task if you use a paper planner, or emailing yourself the night before to remind the you of tomorrow morning to work some connection into your day.
Remember to switch up the time of day you send that text of appreciation now and then so it doesn’t become too obviously routine.