How To Deal With Envy Towards Colleagues

If you have even an ounce of ambition in your profession, there are gonna be times other people are getting what you want: promotions, accolades, press.

This isn’t a feeling that belongs to only one profession; if there’s more than one other person doing what you do, you’ve likely seen them meet some success you feel you deserve. And maybe you do, but sitting there stewing in feelings of jealousy and resentment won’t get you there. Radreads shared some basic pointers on how to keep envy from controlling you—because it definitely won’t make you better at your job.

Admit You’re Envious

A common thing that happens when someone gets something we want is that we analyse why they don’t actually deserve it. While I DO think some people I know got a leg up from rich parents or whatever, whining in my mind about that won’t change their circumstances or mine. Recognise that what you’re feeling is envy, instead of launching into a litany of “not fair.” Taking them down in your mind won’t make you feel better, and it is focusing your mind on the most negative aspect of the situation.

Think About Why You’re Envious

Get past the rich parents stuff, and really investigate what it is about this situation that’s eating away at you. According to Radreads, envy is often related to feelings of inadequacy. Think about what it is that’s really bothering you:

Is your envy driven by feeling trapped in an unhealthy job or relationship? If so, envy may be a distraction from decisiveness. Is your envy driven by competition and status anxiety?

There are aspects to competition in a workplace with real consequences, like money or job security. Those anxieties won’t get any better if you channel them into resenting a specific person. When you’re feeling envious of someone else’s accomplishments, think instead about the things that make you excited about your work. Hopefully, it’s not all external validation. Get in touch with the pleasure of your craft if you can and what you enjoy about your job.

Feel the Love

The big power move is to then feel love towards the object of your envy; they have things going on that you have no idea about. They, too, have probably wanted stuff they didn’t get. And in the end, it feels better to celebrate someone else’s accomplishments than it does to be mad. Activate your compassion, the only cure to envy.