Confirmed: The Pockets On Women’s Pants Are Indeed Bullshit

An extensive, important study has confirmed something women have known — and have been shouting about — for some time: the pockets on our jeans are bullshit. Though concrete, empirical data doesn’t change the reality of the sexist pocket gap that exists in fashion today, we have to start somewhere and I can’t help but feel slightly vindicated.

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Earlier this year, I was pickpocketed. This was partially because I greatly underestimated the skill of Parisian pickpocketers, but mainly because I didn’t take my own advice and wear my overalls (the most perfect travel garment).

When I wrote an article explaining my folly and championing the overall, I was met with a resounding (male-voiced) chorus of “why didn’t you just put your wallet in your front pocket, ya dumb ho?” (There were also a few cries of “but overalls won’t make the men want to mate with you”, but such boring idiocy isn’t worth unpacking.)

ANYWAY. The good people at pudding.cool conducted a very thorough investigation involving the pockets of men’s and women’s pants (20 popular brands were studied) and what they found will blow your mind. (If you’re a cis-het dude. If you are a wearer of women’s pockets you’ll just be like, “Oh. Yeah”.)

You should click the link below to read the full report — and play around with the damning interactive pocket graphic — but here are some highlights:

• “On average, the pockets in women’s jeans are 48 per cent shorter and 6.5 per cent narrower than men’s pockets.” That is basically half as deep. Considering that is where most women keep their hips, this real estate is even more precious and this finding is even more atrocious.

• Only 40 per cent of women’s front pockets can fit a wallet specifically designed to fit in front pockets.

• Only 10 per cent of women’s pockets can fit a lady hand in them. (And Alanis wept, for her song could not be sung.)

• Only 5 per cent of women’s pockets can fit a man hand, meaning I have to keep my severed man hands in an NPR tote bag, which is honestly just a mild inconvenience.

As you can see, the evidence is shocking (to men who don’t really talk to women that much). Though I am sure there are many strategies I could have employed to prevent being pick-pocketed — even outside of wearing overalls — putting my wallet in my front pocket is not one of them and I bet all of you who suggested it feel pretty dumb right about now. (Just kidding, men who yell at me on the internet rarely have shame in matters such as this.)

Women’s Pockets Are Inferior [pudding.cool]