Quietly, all around you, countless times a day, a woman sends a nude picture of herself to a man she's seeing, and the man gives a crappy response that hurts the woman's feelings. (Presumably this also happens in other gender combinations, but it sure is easy to find men who do it to women!) Writer merritt k has categorised the crappy responses so that you can avoid them, and maybe be deemed worthy of more nudes.
Photo by Isabell Winter
The "Clever Boy" can be distinguished by its attempt to seem not just disinterested, but funny, too. For instance, late 20-something Liz once received, "THE NSA CAN SEE THAT, FYI." "Some people feel an urge to say a clever thing, which usually ends up rude and not that clever," she offers as an explanation for the phenomenon. There's a time and a place, friends.
Sending a nude - for most people - is a vulnerable act. When you receive a nude, a nude you wanted, your immediate responsibility is to reward that vulnerability with positivity. You can be clever later, when feelings aren't on the line.
Some of the crappy responses are, at least unconsciously, a way to steal back attention and make it all about you. Others are just really bad improv. If you want to banter with the person who sent you a nude, you have to "yes and" them: Agree with their premise, which is almost always "I am sexy", and add to it.
Trust me on this! I used to be a "clever boy" and I even critiqued a girlfriend's nudes. This did not net me more nudes! Unless you have a very specific, mutually acknowledged dynamic, err on the side of being positive and encouraging and making your partner feel very happy that they sent you nudes. Unless you actually don't want nudes, in which case you should really just say so.