Ah, summertime – when heat, hormones and boredom lead to bad decisions. Last July, four teens were arrested for allegedly having sex on a beach in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. The sun was out, and the shore was filled with families not expecting, um, that type of view. Onlookers called the public display “disgusting”, according to news reports.
Photo: Universal Pictures
On her parenting blog Raising Teens, Cindy Goodman writes that she believes there’s a case to be made for letting teens have sex in their own bedrooms. If they’re already sexually active – and, like it or not, a 2014 Australian survey found one in four Year 10 students, one in three Year 11 students, and half of Year 12 students were – Goodman suggests that providing them with a safe place can prevent them from sneaking off to beaches, parks and who else knows where.
A few years ago, I walked into my neighbourhood clubhouse and found a teen couple having sex on the couch. At the time, I thought: “At least they are inside where they are somewhat safe!”
I hate the idea of my kids having sex at random public places like beaches or parks, but I am realistic that this kind of teen behaviour happens frequently.
Making the house available for your teen to have sex would involve having a conversation about it, which may be uncomfortable, but it’s important that parents talk to their kids about sex regularly, whether they’re little and just starting to have conversations or if they’re already going through puberty.
As for how it would work out logistically – I’m not quite sure. Do you stand next to the family calendar with a dry erase marker, asking, “Sweetie, would you like to have intercourse on Wednesday or Thursday at 4:30? I can run my errands then.” Who knows? That may just kill the mood for another couple of years.