Art by Jim Cooke/GMG
Rimming is having a moment. Long thought of as a more “advanced” sexual activity, it’s being added to the repertoires of people who would describe themselves as being fairly vanilla. Here’s everything you need to know if you’re curious about giving rimming a try.
What It Is
Rimming (otherwise known as analingus) is defined as kissing and licking your partner’s anus and rectum. (The anus is the exterior portion, the rectum is the interior portion)
Why You Should Try It
The simple answer — because it feels good! The anus has nerve endings and enjoys being stimulated. Because rimming is still seen as pretty taboo, there’s also an illicit thrill to giving and receiving a rimjob. And for the record, people of any gender or sexual orientation can enjoy rimming.
Of course, as with any other sexual activity, you need to get your partner’s enthusiastic consent before proceeding. Rimming is not a good activity to spring on someone by surprise.
Prepare to Rim
The receiver of a rimjob should make sure to bathe first. You can incorporate this into your foreplay, by hopping into the shower together and soaping each other down. If a shower isn’t logistically possible, at the very least, do a thorough cleaning with a wet wipe. If you’re really anxious about cleanliness, you can use an enema to clean yourself out beforehand. But this is a pretty intense step that really isn’t necessary. Only do it if it will help you relax enough to enjoy the rimming.
If the giver is a male, he may want to consider shaving his facial scruff. Scruff is pretty polarising. Some people like the added stimulation of a little scruff, while others find it uncomfortable. You may want to err on the side of caution and get rid of your five o’clock shadow. Longer facial hair is typically fine, since it’s a lot softer.
Get the Receiver Excited
If it’s your partner’s very first time receiving a rimjob, they’re bound to be a little nervous. It’s best to get them relaxed and excited with plenty of foreplay. Plus, rimming doesn’t feel that great if you go straight for it.
Do whatever activities you typically like to do for foreplay. Then start to caress their arse. Cup their cheeks in your hands and squeeze. Trace a fingertip along the area where their butt cheeks meet their thighs. You can also kiss and lick along their cheeks. Tease your partner along their butt crack, starting to venture towards the anus but not quite hitting it.
Get into Position
When your partner is ready to go, get them into position. The best position for rimming is to have the receiving partner on all fours on the bed. Depending on the height of your bed, you can stand or kneel behind them on the floor or on the bed. Continue licking and caressing all over their body, to get them even more excited.
It’s possible to transmit STIs through analingus. You can also transmit Hepatitis A, B, and C, along with other conditions. Unless you’re fluid bonded with your partner, you need to use protection to rim them. A dental dam works well with rimming. Or you can cut open a non-lubricated condom (condoms with lubricant or spermicide will taste gross) and spread it out over their anus.
Another note of caution: if your partner is female-bodied, don’t lick from anus to vagina. The vagina is sensitive to outside bacteria, and can get irritated or infected.
Since the rectum doesn’t self-lubricate, you’ll need to keep the area nice and wet. Make sure to use plenty of saliva. If you like, you can also use a flavored lube designed for oral sex. If you’re using protection, make sure to get it wet under and on top of your barrier. This will help transmit the sensation better, making the barrier feel less barrier-like.
The act of rimming itself isn’t that complicated — simply work your tongue around the anus. Going in circles is the easiest technique. You can adjust the diameter of your circles, moving farther apart and then closer together. Or try doing figure-eights, crossing over the anus itself.
If you and your partner are enjoying your rimming adventure, try squeezing their cheeks and pulling them wider apart. This will expose even more area for you to work with, and feels great for your partner.
Take It to the Next Level
If you’re performing analingus on a man, you have more latitude to explore other areas of his body, then come back to the anus (with women, you have to be careful not to lick the vagina after licking the anus). Try playing with his perineum and testicles.
Rimming pairs really well with other sexual activities. Try fingering your partner’s arsehole as you rim it. Or stimulate your partner’s breasts, clitoris, vagina, or penis as you play with their anus.