You Should Get Drunk And Cause A Scene Today

Are you avoiding your family right now? So desperate to escape them that you're sitting in the bathroom reading a productivity blog on Christmas Day? Dreading the inevitable fight over politics or your lack of a plus-one or which kid hogged the university fund? Here's your solution: Get drunk and cause a scene.

A fight was going to happen anyway. Now it will be on your terms. You can choose the topic, and pre-empt the fight you'd lose with the fight you'd win. Or you can steer away from politics or religion and toward some personal argument, taking one for the team just to avoid sinking everyone into an existential funk.

If you strike first, you'll also get to set the tone and the tactics. Make things shouty, or whispered through gritted teeth, punctuated by sloshing red wine on the hardwood floor. (Bonus points if you're the only drinker in a teetotaler family.)

If you're from one of those families that don't fight but store everything up for years, maybe it's time to open the safety valve. Start a nice safe fight that lets everyone work out their feelings in a somewhat controlled environment.

Will things get out of hand? Probably! But that's what would have happened anyway, and now you've given the family something to rally around: blaming you. So clear the air now, while you still have time to make up before the new year.

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