We all love some good ol’ fashioned tomfoolery. Especially when it comes to cars. Here’s ten great ways to mess with someone’s car without damaging it, as suggested by readers on the internet. (You really are an evil bunch, y’know that?)
It’s Evil Week at Lifehacker, which means we’re looking into less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done. We like to think we’re shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you are, in fact, evil, you might find this week unironically helpful. That’s up to you.
#10 Cover It In Halved Oreos
What You Need: Oreos. Lots of Oreos. Preferably Double Stuf.
How To Do It: “Take a big bag of Oreo biscuits, twist them apart and stick the creamy filling side to the windows, the moonroof, the sideview mirrors, headlights …any glass surface will do. One friend drove a ’79 Eldorado, and we used to also sandwich her hood ornament and the center caps on her wire wheel hubcaps.
“The best part of all of this: You got to eat your mistakes! If a cookie crumbled when you tried to twist it apart, you popped it in your mouth! Mmmmmmm… chocolate goodness!”
#9 Paper On A Wet Windshield
What You Need: A rainstorm, a traffic light, and a large sheet of paper.
How To Do It: “If you happen to be following a friend in the rain, wait for a stoplight, run over to their car, and slap a large piece of plain paper on their windshield. If you can get it right before the wiper goes over it, it will seal it to the window, and it will only come off in tiny pieces.”
#8 Car Alarm Wired To Starter
What You Need: Wiring diagram, malicious sense of humor
How To Do It: “Just rig up their car to play the Taiwanese national anthem whenever started.” A few minutes in the car’s wiring harness and fuse panel and bingo, instant annoyance.
#7 Packing Peanuts
What You Need: As many packing peanuts as you can lay your hands on.
How To Do It: Step 1: Gain entry to car (preferably through sunroof). Step 2: Dump bags upon bags of packing peanuts into car. Step 3: Wait for unsuspecting stooge to return to car. Step 4: Laugh. Step 5: Help clean up thousands of peanuts all over parking lot.
#6 Steal Jeep Doors
What You Need: Cold or rainy weather, a Jeep.
How To Do It: Step 1: Find Jeep. Step 2: Remove doors from Jeep. Step 3: Hide doors from Jeep. Step 4: Buy friend heavier jacket.
#5 Make Duplicate Keys
What You Need: Second set of car keys, older car without electronic keys.
How To Do It: “Get a replacement key made for the car. Then move it from time to time — a couple of parking spots over, or just down the street — to make the owner question their sanity.”
#4 Rain-X Messages
What You Need: Rain-X. Rain.
How To Do It: “Carefully write absolutely filthy stuff on their car with Rain-X. Works better on some colors than others.”
#3 Saran Wrap
What You Need: More Saran Wrap than God, plenty of time to do the deed.
How To Do It: Step 1: Wrap car. Step 2: Keep wrapping car. Step 3: Do not stop wrapping car. Step 4: When victim sees car, hand them a pair of small kiddie scissors and walk away.
#2 Vaseline
What You Need: Vaseline. Peanut butter also works well.
How To Do It: “Vaseline, smeared all over the windshield AND under the wipers and door handles.”
#1 Jack Up Drive Wheels
What You Need: Small, discrete jacks. Two-wheel-drive car. Cover of darkness.
How To Do It: “Sneak out around two or three in the morning and put it up on four pillar-style hydraulic jack stands that had been painted dark gray to blend into the shadow of the car.
“We jacked the car up just enough to where none of the tires were touching the ground but unless you bent down to look under the car, you really wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. We gave the car a bit of a nudge to make sure it would slip off the stands on his way to school in the morning.
“He’d gotten in the car, turned on the stereo and cranked the car up. At first he lets it idle as he gets ready and we can see exhaust coming out the back, so we know it’s running. Then we hear the transmission drop into gear and the front wheels start spinning- in open air.
“He floors the gas pedal and grabs the steering wheel and starts rocking back and forth, yelling at the car to work, why isn’t it working, is the clutch blown, etc. We think this is funny as all hell, until we realize how much his tantrum is rocking the car. We start running toward him.
“His tantrum rocks the car just enough so that all four jack stands tip over and collapse, with him still flooring the gas pedal and the front wheels whirring with everything they’ve got. He gets about halfway across the parking lot before he realizes what’s happened and regains his composure enough to slam on the brakes.”
This post originally appeared on Jalopnik.
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