How can you break the news to someone who smells bad? You could be honest and compassionate, sitting down with your stinky loved one to broach the topic. But if you just want to drop a truth bomb and run away, we have a few suggestions.
Photo by Kerri Lee Smith.
It’s Evil Week at Lifehacker, which means we’re looking into less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done. We like to think we’re shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you are, in fact, evil, you might find this week unironically helpful. That’s up to you.
A friendly website called NoOffenseOrAnything.com will send an email to your “friend” letting them know somebody thinks they stink. You don’t need to create an account or provide any personal information; just stick your friend’s name and email address into a tiny form on the website. They will get a digital letter — possibly in their spam folder, foiling your efforts — that looks like this:
No offence or anything, but a friend who cares would like you to know that you have a body odor problem. Please don’t be offended – lots of people suffer from body odor and are unaware of it! We’re human and sometimes we stink, but there’s plenty you can do to address your problem:
1. Bathe daily. Use a mild soap everywhere – every nook and cranny, paying particular attention to your armpits and private parts.
2. Wear deodorant. Every day. Every grocery store, pharmacy and convenience store carry deodorant and it is reasonably inexpensive. If you sweat a lot, choose an antiperspirant.
3. Do NOT try to mask your odor with cologne. You’ll just stink even more.
4. Do your laundry regularly. Dirty clothes stink!
5. If you already do all of the above and still have a body odor problem, you may have a condition called “hyperhidrosis,” or excessivesweating. See your doctor.
6. Visit nooffenseoranything.com/bodyodorsolutions.html for more information on combatting this embarrassing problem.
For a more personal touch, you could always create an anonymous email account (is “[email protected]” taken?) and send your message that way.