There’s nothing worse than being squished against the doughy flesh of a fellow train traveler who is clearly too large for their seat. We’re not here to judge. Maybe they have emotional issues. Maybe it’s their glands.
But that doesn’t mean you should be made to suffer alongside them for the duration of your train journey. Evil Week is here to help.
It’s Evil Week at Lifehacker, which means we’re looking into less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done. We like to think we’re shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you are, in fact, evil, you might find this week unironically helpful. That’s up to you.
As it turns out, there’s an easy way to avoid commuters with extra-generous proportions. Simply sit in the middle of the upstairs carriage. Think about it. All those stairs to navigate. All those extra footsteps. All that unnecessary legwork. There’s no way this is going to be their first choice for a train seat.
Once again, we’re not judging large people here. I’m not suggesting they’re all lazy. (No, really.) But it’s a scientific fact that propelling a larger frame requires more energy. It’s only natural that they’d want to avoid the faraway seats which are a pain to get to.
Of course, if the train is completely filled up, they’re going to take whatever seat is available – in which case, you’re screwed. But by sitting in the upper middle carriage, the odds are definitely stacked in your favour.