Dear Lifehacker, How can I hack into my husband's phone? He keeps putting a pattern lock on it. I think he's messing around! Please help! Thanks, Suspicious Spouse
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It's Evil Week at Lifehacker, which means we're looking into less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done. We like to think we're shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you are, in fact, evil, you might find this week unironically helpful. That's up to you.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, try talking to them about it — the key is to steer the conversation into a productive discussion instead of an argument. If that doesn't work, here are some sneaky tricks that law-abiding citizens would do well to avoid.
Phone locks are difficult to break by design; especially for someone with zero hacking experience. With that said, there are still a few tactics you can employ that require little technical know-how.
For example, try feeding him greasy finger-food such as KFC. If your husband is like most guys, he'll probably use his phone before washing his hands. This will leave behind a tell-tale oil stain that precisely matches the pattern to unlock his phone.
If he's a Facebook user, try opening the website on his laptop when he isn't around. He probably doesn't log off every time he uses the service, which means you won't need his password. Check his chat history to see if there's any incriminating evidence. You might even get "lucky" and receive an instant message from the other woman while you're on there.
If he's cheating with randoms, there's a high probably that he's using the mobile dating app Tinder. It's possible to find out via this simple Facebook hack. It won't be concrete evidence, but it's better than nothing.
Naturally, if you're going to engage in this nefarious behaviour (don't do it!) you'll probably want to cover your tracks. This guide explains how to snoop on someone's phone or computer while remaining undetected. As with our other Evil Week posts, this information is not an endorsement to commit crimes. Use at your own risk!
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