Whitehouse In Turmoil As Twitter Plans To Double Character Limit

Whitehouse In Turmoil As Twitter Plans To Double Character Limit
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Whitehouse staff say President Trump is even more unhinged than usual as Twitter is looking to double the character limit. A source inside the Whitehouse, speaking under condition of anonymity because “the old man is crazier than a bag full of cats” said Trump is ordering people to find longer words for “bad” and “terrible” and “bad ratings” in what President Trump calls the “paper thing with words” – apparently his description of a “Thesaurus”.

While Twitter says the move is designed to help people express themselves more clearly, particularly those from non-English backgrounds, the move is causing great consternation through the Whitehouse and Pentagon.

A Department of Defense employee says the move could lead to the President having the ability to publish actual Executive Orders over Twitter through judicious use of emojis and what the president calls “bigly words”.

“Twitter’s wanton disregard for us is scaring the living shit out of us,” said the Pentagon staffer.

Political analysts are concerned. With the escalating situation in North Korea, following President Trump’s “rocket man” comments to the United Nations, it’s thought the combination of the President, a thesaurus and the longer character limit on Twitter could lead to a major military incident. Or more mad ramblings for everyone to laugh at while cowering in fear of nuclear armageddon.

Whether this move is enough to help Twitter’s falling revenues as advertisers leave the platform remains to be seen.

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