Rejection is one of those things that we all have to deal with at some point in our lives. There’s always going to be women that don’t want to go on dates with you and promotions that you don’t get.
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While your first reaction to rejection might be to declare you don’t want that person to come over anyway, that type of “I’m taking my ball and going home!” reaction can often look childish and insincere, because it is.
Here’s how some experts suggest dealing with rejection a little better.
Learn From Rejection
Inc. suggests that rather than simply dealing with the pain of rejection, “mentally strong people ask themselves, ‘What did I gain from this?’ so they can learn from rejection” and turn the experience into an opportunity to self-growth. When you look at things this way, then every time you’re rejected is another learning opportunity.
“Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognise that being turned down isn’t awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher. Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom,” Inc. suggests.
Keep Your Odds in Mind
Know ahead of time what your odds are for success in a situation. While you can’t run actual numbers of whether to not a woman is likely to accept your dinner invite, if she’s expressed that she dislikes you in the past, you can guess that your chances aren’t very good.
Psychology Today says “Keeping the odds in mind makes all the rejections along the way more tolerable”. It says that knowing your chances of success are low isn’t a reason to not try at all. Only two per cent of job applications actually lead to jobs, and you never know when you’ll actually be in that two per cent.
That said, it always pays to know your audience. If you’re trying to connect with someone or a group that you’ve had poor interactions with in the past, you may want to try a few smaller positive interactions before going all-in on a big ask that might get rejected.
Consider Why You Were Rejected
The Law Job Exchange suggests using rejection as an opportunity for self-reflection.
“The last thing we really want to do is to thank the person and ask them for further criticism. However, I believe that in order to grow within this competitive work market, seeking criticism may show us what sometimes we can’t see anymore,” it says.
When you ask for feedback from the person on why you were rejected their answer will likely sting a bit, but it’s also an opportunity for you to learn where you went wrong, and gives you the opportunity to make some adjustments before you try again.