Some men just want to watch the world — or at least Twitter — burn, and one such man is sports writer Jim Salisbury, who recently tweeted that he once put mayo in his coffee.
Photo by Franklin Heijnen.
I once used mayo in coffee when out of half and half. not half bad— Jim Salisbury (@JSalisburyCSN) August 16, 2017
This is obviously bad and wrong, but not because mayonnaise itself is inherently bad and wrong, it just doesn’t belong in coffee. It does, however, have its many places and uses. Besides being a key player in my beloved tomato sandwiches, the emulsion of egg yolk, oil and acid can do magical things in unexpected dishes. These are a few of my favourite uses for mayonnaise, the condiment everyone (unfairly) loves to hate:
- Whip it into mashed potatoes: My stepmother has always made the best mashed potatoes and, no matter how much cream or butter I added, I could never get mine as creamy as hers. One day, she (reluctantly) confessed that her secret was mayonnaise. Adding mayo doesn’t make your mashers taste like mayo — I had been eating these mayo potatoes for years and never detected its presence — but it gives them an incredible richness and amazing velvety texture. My stepmom adds in 1/4 cup for every three cups of potatoes; Justin Chapple adds a whole cup for every 2kg.
- Add it to cake batter: I know you are about to freak out, but take a breath and remember that mayo is just eggs and oil, with maybe a little lemon juice, and those things are perfectly normal cake ingredients. The emulsified oil and yolk makes for a cake that is extremely moist and tender, and that is what you want in a cake, after all. Need a recipe? I like this one from Serious Eats.
- Make a more melty grilled cheese: Not all cheeses melt the same, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be featured in a glorious grilled cheese sandwich. Mayo has a higher smoke than butter, meaning bread brushed with it can hang out in the pan longer without burning. The bread will crisp up nicely while giving your cheese plenty of time to melt.
Just don’t put it in your coffee. There really is no need for that kind of indecency.