When we hear the word “chastity”, we often think of virginal maidens hiding in ivory towers, monks keeping their hands to themselves and other such examples of abstinence. We don’t automatically jump to an exciting and exhilarating form of sex play. And, yet, many couples experiment with this form of sexual practice to enhance their sex lives. Why? Because it’s not really about abstinence, it’s about sexual experimentation, excitement and suspense, which can be very thrilling indeed.
Though not one of the most well-known forms of sexuality activity, chastity play has actually been around for centuries, so let’s unlock this secretive subject one step at a time.
Firstly, there are different types of chastity to take into consideration and can generally be divided into differents groups. ‘Chastity’ is a method used by some individuals to stop compulsive sexual behaviour completely. By locking away one’s genitals, they cannot be used. This is a pretty long-term, or permanent,choice rather than a form of sexual play. More commonly, for sexual practice, people can be categorized into either ‘chastity players’ or ‘chastity lifestylers’.
‘Chastity play’ is a form of sexual experimentation that most people start out with. It normally originates between couples in the bedroom as a sexual game rather than a lifestyle choice. One partner might lock their partner in a device to prevent them from becoming fully aroused so that once they are finally freed, they will be unable to control their full desire. This form of chastity play can add an intense new level of fun to your bedroom antics. Devices most suitable for this type of play are harnesses, waist belts and metal cages.
Chastity lifestylers are those who adopt chastity play as a lifestyle with their partner rather than sexual bedroom games. Devices will be worn on a more long-term basis and only be released by the partner, known as the keyholder, for predetermined periods. In this way, the keyholder ‘owns’ the sexuality of the chastity lifestyler – who has offered it up as the ultimate gift. Devices for this play range and can be a lot more robust and restricting.
What are the device options?
Whether a lifestyler of a player, there are certain devices that work universally.
A traditional chastity belt is a great place to start. Now this one might conjure images of medieval fantasies but they do provide a certain aesthetic appeal. Bulky and incredibly restrictive, they make a great bit of chastity gear. They can be padlocked at the waist and/or crotch and prevent any kind of insertion or penetration. Many are equipped with tiny holes to allow things to come out but prevent anything from going in. Given the size of them, they’re unsuitable for wearing under clothes but great for role play sessions in the bedroom. A fantastic all-round option for players of all levels is the Bondage Boutique Deluxe Leather Female Chastity Belt with Dildo and Butt Plug, which comes with a dildo and butt plug to really titillate those erotic areas.
Chastity harnesses and straps are similar to belts in terms of sexual restriction but depending on the device, can offer less or more sexual contact. Many harnesses and straps will feature cuffs or chains to keep the player or lifestyler far more constrained. Male-specific harness may also feature straps or rings to cover the male genitalia to prevent any kind of fulfilling stimulation or active penetration. These items can be comfortable enough to wear for prolonged periods of time but can cause irritation if worn for too long.
Chastity cages are another excellent ale-centric device and come in many different forms and materials. From plastic and silicone to metal, there is a material to suit your needs. Cages are designed for long-term wear and often are designed to provide a perfect fit for the flaccid penis. These devices stop any form of sexual contact and prevent the male from getting an erection.
Plastic and silicone cages tend to be more lightweight than other and can be easier and more comfortable to wear than metal ones, or belts. They are also helpfully discreet and can be surreptitiously worn under clothes. The wearer can sport them for longer periods of time and only be released once their partner decides to unlock with the keys.
Metal cages, while facilitating the same restrictions on the penis, are often bigger and bulkier to allow for a little movement. These devices are often used in BDSM play by a submissive with the aim of becoming as aroused as possibly whilst being denied any kind of gratification. These devices should be worn for no longer than a day, or play may start to pinch, or worse.
Before you engage in any kind of chastity play, it’s important to talk things through with your partner and only practice under the safety of a totally trusting relationship – whatever that might look like.
*As with all sex play, listen to your body and if anything feel uncomfortable, take it off straight away.
Anna Lee is a blogger and sex toy expert who writes for Lovehoney Australia. You can see a list of their best-selling products here.
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