Porridge Toppings, Ranked

Porridge is great, for many reasons. Chief among them — the malleable nature of it. Mold your porridge, let it take the shape of your innermost desires. Porridge is a blank canvas, paint my friends. Paint.

Toppings are where porridge comes alive. Here are my favourites, ranked.

But first: a disclaimer. This is my list. Some people add some wild ass shit to their porridge. I’m not here to judge. I support you in your quest.

Secondly, this isn’t instagram porridge. It’s every day, make it at work porridge. It’s not savoury porridge either. That’s a whole different universe and I don’t want to dip my toes in that pool.

With that said, let’s begin.

The List

1. Maple Syrup
Everyone uses honey. They shouldn’t. Honey’s alright, but it’s no maple syrup.

2. Blueberries
Blueberries are awesome. Help you burn fat. A bit less sugary than other fruit. Get really soft and mushy in the heat.

3. Strawberries
Add a couple of strawberries in there. Treat yourself. It’s like finding buried treasure.

4. Bananas
Bananas are great. Treat yourself.

5. Chia seeds
Good when you want to pretend you’re being healthy.

6. Caramelised apples
A lot of extra effort, but good for when you feel like luxury oats.

7. Brown sugar
It makes it go all brown and hell yes it’s the best.

8. Milk
I don’t add milk to mine anymore, because I’m trying to eat less dairy, but a splash of cold milk on steaming hot porridge. Then it makes that little moat around it? Perfection.

9. Walnuts
Alright, let’s talk nuts. Some people add almonds to porridge. Those people are going down a dark path. If you’re gonna add a nut, it had better be light and crunchy. LIKE WALNUTS.

10. Raspberries
Raspberries are pretty good. They’re no strawberries but yeah. Still pretty good.


Here are terrible toppings I’ve seen other people put on porridge. Humanity was a mistake.

1. Condensed Milk
My wife does this. I have no idea why. Not sure why I married her to be honest.

2. White Pepper
Lifehacker Editor Chris Jager adds pepper to his porridge cause he’s the worst.

3. Grapes
Yeah nah. Too big, too dominating a flavour. NO THANKS.

Let the debates begin! What are some of your favourite porridge toppings?

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