Why It’s So Hard To Open Up To People We Love When We’re Upset With Them

We think of those close to us as people who understand us on a deeper level, so when they do something that upsets or offends us and they don’t intuitively understand why, it can really hurt. Here’s why it is so difficult to talk to them about it and what you can do to make it a little easier.

Whether they’re a family member, romantic partner or close friend, we often expect those we love to understand us better than others naturally, and when they don’t it’s tough to explain our feelings to them. Part of this is a subconscious conclusion that having to explain must mean our connection is different or not as deep as we thought. The School of Life explains in the video above. If you can’t watch, the video uses those times when your friend or partner upsets you, and when they ask what’s is wrong later, you feel compelled to respond with silence, or a terse, “Nothing.”

Our implicit belief that those we love should be able to see our intentions and feelings without explanation causes us to react poorly when they don’t. It can be easy to close yourself off, but it’s important to instead make the effort to talk. It sounds simple, but like any hard conversation, isn’t easy to do. As much as we expect our loved ones to understand and support us, we shouldn’t expect them to tiptoe around us because they can’t read our minds to figure out what’s wrong.

Why We Sulk and How Not To [The School of Life (YouTube)]