Five Ways To Annoy How-To-Vote Volunteers On Election Day

Five Ways To Annoy How-To-Vote Volunteers On Election Day

One of the most annoying aspects of voting at the federal election is the throngs of party faithful handing out how-to-vote cards. On the big day, 99.9 per cent of the population has already decided who its going to vote for, yet the volunteers are still out in force, foisting colourful sheets of paper on anyone who crosses their path. Here are some tactics to wind them up for pushing their party’s agenda and wasting your time.

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We get it. The volunteers who congregate outside election polling booths are just trying to push their favoured political party across the line. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying. Exercising your democratic right should not involve having to wade through a relentless onslaught of upthrust cards and pamphlets. It’s an infuriating first world problem that even a free sausage sandwich can’t make up for.

You generally have two options in this situation: either keep your head down and your hands jammed firmly in their pockets, or sheepishly accept every brochure that gets pointed in your direction. Alternatively, you could be a complete jerk and do one of the following:

#1 Proudly admit you intend to cast a donkey vote

For extra jerk points, accept their how-to-vote card first and make a big show of studying the numbered boxes before making your proclamation.

#2 Run past with a finger jammed in each ear screaming “la-la-la-la-la!”

It’s not subtle, but it gets the point across.

#3 Shake everybody’s hand with your palms covered in tap water

If there’s a public toilet in view, make sure they see you exiting it first.

#4 Loudly insist that your vote is going to a non-existent candidate

‘Throatwobbler Mangrove’ perhaps. Or ‘Incontinentia Buttocks’.

#5 Dress up like a hippie college student and accept every how-to-vote card except the Greens

Stereotyping is bad, except when it involves hippie college students.

#6 Just leave the poor blighters be

It’s a thankless task but we all have to fill our days somehow. Just smile and decline their cards gracefully.

See also: Election 2016 Survival Guide: Apps, Cheat Sheets And Sausage Sizzles


  • As someone who has volunteered for my party to hand out these cards. We do not act in this manner. We do not annoy people, We are not pushy. We just ask people if they want a card, And if they say no, We leave it at that.

    This Author of this article clearly has his head up his own arse. How is being an even bigger arsehole to people this numpty author sees as being arseholes in anyway mature at all?

    FYI, Volunteers who are being pushy can be reported to AEC staff inside and the AEC will take action against them.

    Volunteers are not allowed to push their political views on people coming. It can get you fined and kicked out.

    • Well done djbear! Your reply to this article has well and truly confirmed what the rest of us already know – that politicians, their volunteers, and anyone else who is a part of “your party” is ignorant and disconnected with the majority of the populace.

      You DO act in this manner! You DO annoy people! You ARE pushy!

      If you don’t realise how annoying and invasive you and your fellow volunteers are, then you’re the one with your head up your arse, not the author of this article, who pretty much has it spot on.

      Besides, if you had have taken the time to read to the end of the article, you would have seen the author take pity on the volunteers and asks we deal with you all politely. It’s something I won’t be doing, because if I have to put up with your crap, the least you can do is put up with mine in return!

      • If there was ever a perfect example of a Pleb, You just provided one. What does your colon smell like mate? Your head is so far up your own ass you must know?

        GG idiot

      • Nope the volunteers are doing there job, and doing it professionally if not for a wage.

        While you think they’re annoying and invasive your online demanour would suggest you’re of poor behaviour.

        Maybe you should volunteer so you can feel more connected.

        BTW, no one particularly cares about your crap, so feel free to keep it to yourself.

    • Agreed.. they aren’t pushy at all. This article would be better if it was about the pushy sales people you find in the middle of shopping centres that do everything they can to get your attention and money.

    • So you speak for every single volunteer in Australia all of a sudden? Because when I went to vote I had forms and pamphlets thrust at me, even after declining. I’ve also had my path blocked to try and make me pay attention to them. Don’t say “WE” when you’re talking about a tiny minority of your little party buddies.

      So next time before you make an attack at the author saying his head is up his arse, maybe you should climb down out of your own arse and realise “Oh hey maybe this does happen and people are sick of it”.

  • Ask which of them will cough up fifty dollars to buy our vote. Then tell them they are under arrest. We got one last year. Lol.

  • Politely decline and walk on by, there’s no need to be a nutsack about it.

  • Agree with the polls, just politely shake your head and walk past. Most people should already know who they are voting before hitting the polls.

    However… when I lived near university a decade ago the students with heavy beliefs (religious/ political) were annoying, so I started to collect their handouts if they door knocked. When the next person turned up I would say “First, can I interest you in MY belief/political views…” and try to hand them the last handout, as I try to steal their handout from them and mutter “May I have this it is always good for me to know the evil I must defeat” (or something creepy or wierd like that).

    … the door knocking stopped, as my address gets crossed off SO MANY lists 😛

  • It’s days like today that a T-shirt emblazoned with “F%^& off! I’ve already voted” comes in handy.

  • I’m flabbergasted! IMO anyone who accepts a “How to Vote” card shouldn’t be allowed to!
    Vote that is!

    • Well I’m sure the infinitely intelligent Delman knows exactly how the preferences favour each particular party and how best to support the party that one wants to vote for, but for the rest of us it helps to have a reminder as to which of the 50+ parties I should number, and in what order, to properly support our chosen political affiliation.

  • I went past them not paying attention to them… earphones in and looking at my phone (facebook)

    Not sure if they still tried to engage with me…. just ignored them. I have my mind made up before I arrive to vote.

  • Those people are giving up their Saturday, for no pay, because they believe in something.
    What have you done lately that gives you the right to pile scorn on them?

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