When you’re riddled with self-doubt, having any sort of confidence can seem like a pipe dream. By identifying the doubts you have about yourself, and asking yourself these simple questions, you might be able to wiggle free of their suffocating embrace.
Photo by Linzi.
It’s perfectly normal to have a little self-doubt, but it shouldn’t keep you from doing the things you want to do. For example, maybe you think you’re not smart enough to accomplish something, or maybe you don’t think you’re attractive enough to ask someone out. Whatever particular doubts you have about yourself, Marni Battista, the CEO of dating coaching service Dating with Dignity, suggests you get to the bottom of them with these three questions:
- Where did I learn this? Did someone say you weren’t smart? Is it because you had a hard time in a certain class? Or did you come up with it on your own?
- How true is it really? More often than not, your belief isn’t rooted in fact, but assumption. Maybe you assume you aren’t smart because of one little incident.
- What is the unconscious gain? What is this self-doubt protecting you from? Maybe it’s really just a fear of taking risks and experiencing failure.
If you’re having a hard time answering, try to look at it from the third person. Once you know the answers to those questions you can begin to take action and move past your doubts. Some self-doubt will always linger, but you’ll at least be able to manage the worst of it and find some much-needed confidence. You can learn more of Battista’s tips at the link below.