Today we have an assignment for those of you who sleep with people who have the same thing going on in between their legs as you do. It’s an easy game that will help you get a better sense of what each of you likes in the bedroom.
Why You Should Do this Tonight
Same-sex sex can be great because you have at least a basic understanding of each other’s anatomy and how things work. The genital learning curve isn’t quite as steep when you possess the same set of parts.
On the flip side of the coin, though, it’s easier to make assumptions about what another person will like based on what you happen to like. Of course, sexin’ up another person is a different experience than sexin’ up yourself (and there are certain activities you’ve presumably never been able to do to yourself, unless you’re extremely flexible), but there’s still a sense of familiarity.
If you’ve been with said pair of matching genitals for some time, you may also have fallen into a bit of a routine with your sexy time. This happens with almost all couples, regardless of gender or orientation. We keep doing the same old things, and don’t make as much of an effort to explore new techniques.
Today’s Do This Tonight makes it easy, informative, and fun to differentiate between what each of you actually likes, and discover some new tricks in the process.
How to Do It
First, both of you should read this article, so you both know what’s up. Agree on a specific time to play (hopefully tonight, since, you know, this is our “Do This Tonight” series).
Pick a part of the body that you both like touched. Try easing your way in with a non-genital, non-breast, non-butt area, like the back or the shoulders. First, try to replicate the type of touch that your partner has responded best to historically. For example, you might start scratching their back lightly with your fingernails. Say something like, “OK, I think this is what you tend to like best.” It’s fine if your partner has some edits, like, “I usually like a little more pressure” or “I like it a bit lower.” Any bit of feedback that either of you offers helps you learn more about your bodies and what you like.
Next, try to imitate the type of touch that you like best, so for example, you might start massaging your partner’s back. Say, “and this is what I like best.” Again, your partner is free to pitch in their thoughts, like, “you usually react when I go a bit faster than that.”
Half the fun of the game is honing in on what each of you like, so keep toggling back and forth between “this is what you like” and “this is what I like.” Talk about the similarities and differences. This should feel light and playful, so feel free to banter.
Using the same setup, move on to kissing, handjobs, blowjobs, or whatever other activities are typically a part of your repertoire. You can run through all of your favourites in one supersized session, or you can divide it up and do one activity each day (Makeout Monday, Tittie Tuesday, etc).
With oral sex in particular, you may find it surprisingly tricky to replicate what you enjoy. Sometimes it’s hard to envision what the heck your partner is actually doing down there between your legs. This makes it a great opportunity to teach each other more about specific techniques that you use.
Keep in mind that there may be some instances where you turn out to be quite a bit off about what you think your partner enjoys most. You might feel a pang of embarrassment if your SO says something like, “actually, I like it much more like this.” Whoops. This is usually due to our aforementioned tendency to get into a groove with our partners and keep doing the same thing over and over again. It’s ok to feel a little sheepish, but remind yourselves to keep returning to this game as a refresher!