I'm something of a T-shirt aficionado. I never turned into an adult so I wear them almost every day. And because someone asked for it, I bought The Mountain's Three Wolf Moon shirt to review. It's just OK.
I may not be a real adult, but I am a very serious journalist™ so I feel I must first share my qualifications for such a review. I am a 27-year old male who works from home and thus wears way too many t-shirts, much to the chagrin of my wife. I buy one at nearly every heavy metal concert I go to. I own 44 T-shirts in total, spanning various brands, fabrics, and colours. As a result I have strong feelings about what kind of t-shirts are "good" and what kind of t-shirts are "bad", even though it rarely influences my buying decisions.
So when I tell you that I thought very hard about this shirt, you know I mean it. To the person who suggested this review ironically, the joke's on you, because I turned this into a real article with tips on how to buy and care for your T-shirts.
Fit & Fabric
Above: One of my average soft cotton T-shirts (left), and the Three Wolf Moon shirt (right), for size comparison.
The Three Wolf Moon shirt is made out of what The Mountain calls "Medium Weight Cotton". This is really just a fancy way of saying "basically heavy cotton." When you see this on a web page, it should be your first warning: heavy cotton is no good. Shirts made from heavy cotton tend to be a little less proportionate in their fit and a bit rougher to the touch. Manufacturers claim they last longer, but in my experience, they actually fade faster than their quality-made, soft counterparts. (This is highly anecdotal, though, and I have done no serious scientific research on T-shirt durability.)
So I didn't have high hopes for the fit and feel of the Three Wolf Moon shirt. The fabric is about as rough as I expected (a little nicer than my "heavy cotton" shirts, but not by much), and it didn't fit me very well. I wear a size small, but despite Amazon users rating its fit "As Expected", I found this shirt to run large. In fact, of all the size small T-shirts that I own, the Three Wolf Moon shirt is one of, if not the, largest-fitting. The shirt is looser than all my other shirts, and the torso and sleeves are both longer than anything I own as well.
I'm a skinny guy, so a lot of shirts are going to look a little big on me, and not everyone will like as slim a fit as I do. But this is the smallest size The Mountain offers, and it's larger than most shirts I own, which is a bit of a ding against it.
Tip: If the company you're shopping from has a size chart, use it. Most do, including Amazon. Look up a couple of your favourite T-shirts and write down their neck, sleeve, chest, and shoulder measurements in Evernote (or your filing cabinet of choice) so you know your "ideal" T-shirt measurements. In a perfect world, you'd just try stuff on before you buy it, but when you shop online, knowing these measurements can help you shop for fit.
I was shocked to find that this t-shirt did not have magic social powers. Despite Amazon reviews, men did not want to be with me and women did not want to be with me. This was very disappointing. In fact, I went out for tacos with about twenty of my friends and only one of them even mentioned the shirt. This actually worried me, because it seems to suggest that no one knew I was wearing the shirt ironically and just thought this was my normal attire. Perhaps I need new friends, or perhaps I am far nerdier than I realised.
Or perhaps the Three Wolf Moon shirt isn't noticeable enough to others. Perhaps I should have gotten the purple version, or the one with glow-in-the-dark wolves. But I was stupid, and bought the plain ol' blue one, which apparently does not grant me instant suaveness and popularity.
Tip: Most people do not give a crap what is on your shirt. Furthermore, "joke" shirts are only funny the first time, so they don't make a great clothing investment. (See: T-shirts with sarcastic sayings printed on the front.)
I honestly didn't test the durability of this shirt. I thought about washing it 30 times to see how it would wear, but that would waste a lot of water and I live in California. Besides, I already spent $US16 on this damn shirt I'm never going to wear again, and I'm not going to spend more on the water and detergent to wash it. Yes, I am a cheapskate, and I'm sorry.
Tip: Regardless, I recommend washing your graphic T-shirts inside out and on the "cold" setting. It will keep the graphic side of the shirt from rubbing up against other items, and should last longer as a result. I'm upset it took me 25 years to learn this. They also make detergent specifically for dark fabrics that may help keep the colours from fading.
The Verdict: Meh
I was not too pleased with this shirt. It's not bad, per se, but the fit and fabric were sub-par, in my (admittedly T-shirt snob) opinion. Of course, if you really like the graphic, go for it. I've bought plenty of sub-par shirts because I liked the graphic on them, so there's no shame there. Just know that it may run a bit large and it isn't exactly soft and cuddly.