This Ridiculous Toy Will Give You One Of The Best Orgasms Of Your Life

This Ridiculous Toy Will Give You One of the Best Orgasms of Your Life

The Womanizer is one of the most unfortunate-looking sex toys I've ever come across, but also one of the most effective. This unique toy utilises suction instead of vibration, and induces powerful orgasms in a shockingly short amount of time. In a sea of vibrators, here's why the Womanizer stands out.

The Specs

I'm not going to lie; the second I opened up the Womanizer, I laughed out loud. I know, I know, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." But I can't help myself! My "tattoo-style" model is decorated with a graphic of a barbed-wire-wrapped heart set amidst a field of flames and flowers, draped with a banner inscribed with the world "love." It uncomfortably resembles a classic "Mum" tattoo. Other motif options include leopard prints and snake skin. The Womanizer has a large jeweled button that you use to adjust the power settings. The toy looks like it was designed by teenage girls in the '90s, to be sold at Claire's. The shape resembles the ear thermometers pediatricians use. It's just so bizarre.

The Womanizer comes with two removable suction tips. It's made of ABS plastic, and is phthalate-free. It has six different levels of intensity. It's USB rechargeable. It retails for $US189.

How to Use It

I recommend using this product on your fingertips first, so you can get a sense of how it works. Turn the Womanizer on, and try to get the suction tip flush against your thumb. It lightly "seals" into place. The noise of the motor disappears, letting you know it's properly placed. The toy creates a gentle, pulsating, sucking motion.

To use it on your genitals, use your fingers to spread your labia apart, then place the suction tip over your clitoris, enclosing it without touching it. It can take a few moments to adjust to the sensation, since it's so different from a standard vibrator. You'll want to fiddle with the intensity settings until you find one that you like. You'll need to remain relatively still, since too much writhing around will dislodge the tip. Fortunately you don't need to stay in this position for too long; in tests run by the company, over half of their research participants orgasmed in under a minute. Not every woman will come this quickly, but the Womanizer is definitely a smooth operator.

What I Loved

It's probably obvious by now that my expectations for the Womanizer were very low. After about ninety seconds of use, this bedazzled ear thermometer had completely won me over. The suction sensation feels unassuming at first, but catches up with you real quick and pushes you over the edge into powerful, throbbing orgasms that feel remarkably different (and better) than vibration-induced orgasms. If you hold the Womanizer in place, this little workhorse will make you come over and over again with ease. It's pretty awesome.

The Womanizer also offers a huge range of stimulation. The lowest level hardly feels like anything, and the highest feels like it could suck your clitoris straight off your body. All that variety means it can work well for a lot of women.

What I Didn't

It's good that the Womanizer makes you orgasm so quickly, because using it is a bit of a pain. You can only use it while lying on your back, which not all women will love. You can't move much, because you'll dislodge the suction tip. Some women need to maintain muscle tension in order to orgasm, but the body posture the Womanizer requires feels a little too robotic. It's also not a toy that would be very easy to use with a partner, since it requires such stillness and precision. Additionally, the buttons are awkwardly placed, making it simultaneously difficult to change settings when you want to, and too easy to accidentally change them when you don't.

My biggest issue with the Womanizer is the price. I'm a proponent of saving up for high-quality sex toys, but this is a particularly expensive product.

This is a small quibble, but I'm really not a fan of the name. The Womanizer is made by a German company, so perhaps there was something lost in translation? It's just not a great name for a woman's sex toy. It feels sleazy and almost invasive. And it got Britney Spears' "Womanizer" stuck in my head for days, which sucked because that song is no "I'm a Slave 4 U."

Who Should Buy It

I think this toy will appeal to a wide variety of women, simply because the sensation is so incredible and unique. If you're a fan of your partner making a sucking movement during oral sex, the Womanizer will drive you crazy. If you don't normally like vibrators, the suction sensation may win you over. If direct clitoral stimulation is usually too intense for you, you'll appreciate the fact that there is none with the Womanizer, and you'll likely enjoy the extremely delicate lowest setting.

This is also a fantastic product for women who have yet to have their first orgasm. As I mentioned above, if you haven't responded well to vibrators in the past, the suction sensation might be just what you're looking for. Plus, the Womanizer comes with a 30 day pleasure guarantee. If it doesn't make you orgasm, they will fully refund your money. I've never heard of this kind of guarantee with another sex toy, and this makes it a very safe bet for women who have so far been frustrated by their attempts.

The Final Verdict

There's no denying that the Womanizer is bizarre looking, but the product itself is good enough to overlook the strange aesthetic decisions. It is very expensive, which makes me a bit hesitant to give it my full seal of approval. If you haven't had an orgasm, the orgasm guarantee makes this a worthwhile investment. If you've got some money to burn or a birthday to celebrate, go for it! You can buy it here.


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