Spanking the monkey. Adjusting the pink curtains. Jerkin' the gherkin. Slapping the oyster. Beef strokenoff. Tickling the taco. Grilling the frank-and-beans. When you consider the huge number of euphemisms that exist for male and female masturbation, two things become obvious — wankers love alliteration, and they're kind of ashamed of it. But what if self-gratification was actually good for you? Here comes the science...
The latest AsapScience video attempts to tackle this sticky question. Apparently, whacking the weed can lead to a range of health benefits ranging from improved sleeping patterns to reduced menstrual cramping.
One study found males who frequently badger the one-eyed witness had a lower chance of prostate cancer compared to abstainers. They also produced more powerful sperm during copulation. Oh, and you definitely won't go blind (if you're a guy, just try not to aim at your eyes.)
You can check out the rest of the health benefits in the video below. Also, while we're all here, what's your favourite euphemism for male and female masturbation? I'm going to go with "Hand-to-glans combat" and "diddle the skittle". Classic.