If you want to make your relationship better, the best way is to find the problems and fix them, right? Actually, maybe not. If you really want to improve the bond you have with a partner or friend, the best way may be to have new or better positive experiences.
Photo by normalityrelief.
As life tips blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree points out, long-term relationships often have problems that won’t be resolved with a single discussion. If they were, they’d already be over and done with. The problems that couples (or anyone in any type of relationship) fight over tend to be due to either deep-seated habits or core beliefs. Trying to fix each other can drive you apart more often than it brings you closer together. However, having positive experiences with each other can improve that bond.
We spend a lot of time trying to fix things in our relationships. Turns out we’ve got it backwards. Unless they’re critical, don’t focus on reducing the negatives. Couples thrive when they increase the positive things. …69% of a couple’s problems are perpetual. These problems don’t go away yet many couples keep arguing about them year after year.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should ignore all problems. If you have an abusive spouse, a partner who’s ruining your financial life, or have an overall unsustainable relationship, by all means fix those problems or get out. However, if you’re just in a stagnating or generally unsatisfying relationship, finding a problem to “fix” may not be as helpful as simply finding something positive to bond over.
5 Shortcuts To Bonding Deeply With A Romantic Partner [Barking Up the Wrong Tree]