Turn A Cheap Supermarket Cake Into A Moreish Malteser Dessert

Baking a delicious, fancy cake is beyond the skills of most mortals. It's also incredibly time consuming. Here's a simple method for creating a delectable looking dessert in under ten minutes.

To make your Malteser dessert, all you need is a box of the aforementioned chocolates and a cheap chocolate log cake from the supermarket:

This should work out to a grand total of around $8. Now comes the slightly fiddly part: grab a knife and chopping board and slice the Maltesers in half. Be careful while slicing — those chocolate balls have a tendency to fly all over the shop.

Why cut them, you ask? The reason for this is threefold: it stops the Maltesers from rolling off the cake, it's easier to eat and the aesthetics are a teensy bit fancier. Next up, simply assemble the halved Maltesers on top of the log cake and gently push down on them, like so:

The chocolate icing should help to keep them in place. (You can also put your creation in the fridge for a few hours to help everything set.)

Once you're done, you should have something that looks a bit like this:

Okay, so this cake won't be mistaken for a Nigella Lawson creation, but it's significantly more impressive than the plain chocolate cake you started out with. I can also confirm that it tastes delicious to a level that's almost sinful. (Thanks to Genevieve Rota for the tip!)


    For keeping the Maltesers in one place when chopping - take strip of cardboard (corrugated cardboard is simplest), fold it into a V-shaped channel and drop your Maltesers into that. They'll now stay in one place while you cut a whole lot in one go.
    You don't have to thank me for that helpful hint, but if you want to, any form of cake (Maltesers included or not) is acceptable. :)

    "Baking a delicious, fancy cake is beyond the skills of most mortals. It’s also incredibly time consuming."

    Both statements are totally incorrect.

    There's no need to cut the Maltesers in half to stop them rolling about.

    My method for keeping them in place is to suck them momentarily before placing them on the cake.

    Not only does it stop the sticky mothers from going anywhere, but you get a chocolate hit as well.

    It's a win-win....provided of course, that fellow partakers aren't aware of it.

      I prefer to lick each one. It's quicker and the saliva is a proven binding agent.

    *Baking a delicious, fancy cake is beyond the skills of most mortals. It’s also incredibly time consuming.*

    "Both statements are totally incorrect"

    You're obviously a pastry cook.

    You could build houses with the cakes my wife makes.

    I'm not sure how she manages it, but even if she buys a cake mix and follows the instructions to the letter it always goes tits-up.

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