Treat Rejection Like Losing A Game To Handle It Better

Treat Rejection Like Losing a Game to Handle It Better

Getting rejected feels like crap. But how you respond to it can make all the difference. To handle rejection better and move on to your next opportunity, treat it like a game. When you lose once in a game, you just shrug and start over.

Picture: John Liu

As tips blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree suggests, treating rejection like losing a game can help keep things in perspective. Sure, getting turned down for a date or not getting a job you wanted feels like a gut punch, but in reality there are a lot of other opportunities available that are probably just as fulfilling for you.

You wouldn't curl up in a ball and give up if you died once in a video game. You won't die if you suffer one rejection in real life.

Fear Of Rejection: 2 Ways To Beat It, Backed By Research [Barking Up the Wrong Tree]


    You wouldn’t curl up in a ball and give up if you died once in a video game.

    Yes i would sadly.

    The video game analogy doesn't quite work.

    If you fail in a video game you can reload and try the same part again, you get rejected in real life you can't exactly reset and ask the same person, (that you may have been thinking about or generating feelings about for a bit of time), in a different way, can you?

    I guess if you just think of all people as simply conquests to be mounted and not think of them as people you actually like and want a meaningful connection with then sure, I guess you can "reset" and just continually ask every single person out. I guess in that way the sheer number of people you speak to will probably yield some kind of result for you. That would make you seem like a sociopath. ;)

      Nah, it still works. Author should probably have said rejection is like dying in Rogue Legacy. That character is over, but you get another one, a descendant, another chance to do better with a different character.

      The big problem with the fear of rejection for a nursed crush is in letting the crush be nursed in the first place. It's the error of thinking that this person is 'The One'. And that's just not true. However, "there are plenty of fish in the sea" IS true.

      Look closely enough at anyone, get to know them well enough, and you'll very likely find plenty that's either admirable, interesting, relateable, or attractive about many of them. Or all of the above. (Physical attraction is necessary too, but less difficult or involved to figure out - your body/subconscious/conscious can work THAT aspect out in under ten seconds.) But the reality of there being a larger-than-one number of people to suit your compatibility means that being hung up on ONE person is just like dating-as-a-video-game and getting hung up on not dying even once, preserving that first character for some reason. There ARE other people out there equally as special as whoever you've been crushing on, you just haven't let yourself be open to those people as a possibility due to laser focus on that 'perfect run', first time.

      I've known WAY too many people who let the fear of rejection - the fear of losing that 'first character' - keep them from being honest about their feelings. They're so afraid that they don't want to make a move until they know they can 'win'. I've BEEN there. Which is crazy, because humans aren't 'sure things', puzzles which can be figured out and objections overcome. It's a gross over-complication of something that should be simple.

      And it really is as simple as asking this: you want to know if they'd like to go out on a date and test the waters for a romantic relationship.

      Even IF they're open to that, there's still plenty of chances it won't work out. There are no sure things! That's what dating IS. A date isn't a marriage proposal, it's no big commitment. You don't need to do research and get to know someone so you can guage compatibility before you ask; dating is HOW you find out about compatibility. That's what the first few dates are meant to be all about. Fact-finding, getting to know each other - in a romantic context.

      This is why you should act quickly on attraction instead of nursing a crush for ages before you finally work up the gumption. You like someone and you think you got chemistry? Go for it. Make your intentions known. Not only is it more honest, but also if you don't speak your mind, you develop your relationship in a specific context - as friends - and your attempt to interact outside of that context can be treated as confronting or weird because it's unusual or unexpected - unfamiliar. It's effectively the same as starting the relationship over again in an entirely different context, which is understandably unsettling/uncomfortable or just an effort they don't necessarily want to make for a different end-goal they don't necessarily want.

    I think if you handle it in the right headspace. long term, being able to accept rejection/defeat makes you stronger, builds character & all in all makes you a better person. So how you let instances in life such as rejection affect you, can really be the building blocks of your future-self that shows, when dealing with similar situations in the future. Being the better man towards yourself without being callous or a dick to the other person, people will notice & you're almost certainly better of because of it. ...where was I going with this?

    Tip the board over and storm off in a huff? OK, if you say so.

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