You’ve probably been told the “golden rule” at some point in your life, but it’s not always ideal for those times you want to ooze charisma. That’s where the “platinum rule” comes in.
Picture: Tech Cocktail
The golden rule says that you should treat others with the same respect you would want to be treated with. Travis Bradberry at The Good Men Project suggests there’s a better approach to take when you want others to like you more:
The Golden Rule — treat others as you want to be treated — has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things… The Platinum Rule — treat others as they want to be treated — corrects that flaw.
You’re not pandering to them or sucking up, you’re just doing the extra courtesy of appealing to who they are as an individual. As Bradberry suggests, If someone likes public recognition, give it to them. If they don’t like to be the focus of attention, however, keep them from feeling uncomfortable.
You should definitely use the golden rule as a baseline no matter what, but keep the platinum rule in mind for when you get a feel for how someone likes to be treated. They will like you a lot more for it.