Expensive, Rigid And Painful: What IT Acronyms Really Mean

Technology loves a three-letter acronym (TLA), but those letters often conceal the full horror of what lies beneath. These are the best "real" translations we've encountered.

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Acronym Officially stands for Actually stands for
ERP Enterprise resource planning Expensive, rigid and painful
CRM Customer relationship management Customers rarely matter
SLA Sevice level agreement Source of legal acrimony
CAD Computer aided design Complicated and difficult
ADSL Asymmetric digital subscriber line Always delayed slightly longer
FTP File transfer protocol Files transfer painfully
SMTP Simple mail transfer protocol Some messages terminate permanently
CASE Computer aided software engineering Can't afford something else
NBN National Broadband Network Nodes being neglected
ACL Access control list Always causes lag
DHCP Dynamic host control protocol Doesn't help connect PCs
SNMP Simple network management protocol Security not my problem

Any additions? Share them in the comments.


    DNS Does Nothing Sensible
    HTTP Head To This Place

    After decades of Support roles found these useful and often applicable:

    NFI - No F**king Idea
    O2T - Oxygen Thief
    BFI - Brute Force 'n Ignorance
    BFMB - Banana-Fingered Mouth Breather
    PEBKAC - Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair

    Officially stands for Personal Computer Memory Card International Association
    Actually stands for People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms

    Error code ID-ten-T - no explaination needed for that one.

    PICNIC - Problem's in (the) chair, not in (the) computer.

    Last edited 18/06/15 2:34 pm

    Most Intelligent Consumers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

    Oh, and NTSC - Never Twice the Same Color

      PAL - Perfection At Last, :-P

        SECAM - Something Essentially Contrary to American Method.

        I always liked ISDN - It Sounds Damn Nasty

    Old IBM mainframes use EBCDIC
    Every Bloody Code's Different, IBM Crap

    Nobody has mentioned: RTFS, RTFM, RTFD!
    Also, from my service desk days: CACTUS, in the context, "your computer is CACTUS" - Cannot Accurately Continue the Usual Service.

    As someone who used to work with POS, Piece Of Shit.

    HTML - HoTMaiL :P

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