Confidence is important. Without it, opportunities pass you by. If you’re trying to boost yours, though, focus on finding something to accomplish, rather than something that makes you look cooler.
Photo by DVIDSHUB
All of us have a tendency to focus on image to improve our confidence. It’s a tale as old as emulating cool guys who smoke on TV. However, as The Art of Manliness points out, only making external changes to your confidence isn’t always enough. It can help you get into the right mindset a bit, but if you don’t accomplish something you can feel good about, that image can be undermined:
Image cannot be everything, because it can be taken from you, leaving you as nothing. I once fretted over what I wore before going out with the lads, with the primary intention of getting drunk, laughing a lot, and getting a handful of new numbers. And though I’m far from the most confident human on the planet, I have grown up a bit, and my confidence is deep — it’s born in failure and struggle, and it’s not at all dependent on image.
I’ve forged my confidence through accomplishment, exercise, and travel; through facing fears, pushing my limits, and acquiring knowledge — not by reading Esquire or GQ and expecting another man’s style to give me the confidence I need to live the life I want to live.
The site describes this phenomenon in terms of the dating life, but it can apply to anything. If you want to improve your confidence, work on a project, do something new, or make something you can be proud of. If the only thing you do to feel confident, however, is put on some nice shoes and iron your shirt, you may find yourself back down in the dumps at the first sign of resistance.
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