Arguments are inevitable in any relationship, but what’s worse is when you say something so harsh one of you holds a long-lasting grudge — even after the argument ends. Make a pact with your partner to not say anything the two of you won’t be able to get over within 15 minutes.
Picture: Seth Woodworth/Flickr
We’ve all heard not to say things we’ll regret in the heat of the moment, but NBC News Manager and husband of 35 years William Wright takes a more practical edge. He explained that he and his wife never say anything in the heat of the moment that’s so harsh they won’t be able to move on from it within 15 minutes. William explains this is one reason why their marriage has endured for so long:
We both came to the realisation that there was a threshold where we were actually being mean-spirited for the sake of winning an argument. Going for the jugular, so to speak, led to prolonged hard feelings, storming out of the room, hours of seething. Such behaviour could doom a union if continued along that path. So we made a pact to never do or say anything in the heat of the moment that either one could not get over in 15-minutes!
While doing this won’t solve all relationship problems, or even the one you’re arguing about, it will keep you both from making things worse. Then once you cool down you can figure out how to rectify the situation calmly without having caused extra damage in the process.
The 15-Minute Rule for Lasting Relationships [The Good Men Project]