One of the worst aspects of Christmas shopping is the insufferably “festive” muzak that blares from every storefront. For some reason, eBay has decided to replicate this unpleasant experience for online shoppers. No really. For a limited time, eBay customers will be able to play soul-sapping Christmas carols directly through the browser. Bah-humbug.
Christmas picture from Shutterstock
The new “feature” comes via a partnership with Spotify which is supplying a selection of free Christmas-themed tracks to eBay customers. Available songs include Nat King Cole’s The Christmas Song, Dean Martin’s Baby It’s Cold Outside, Bing Crosby’s Winter Wonderland and Frank Sinatra’s White Christmas.
The company will also be handing out gingerbread-scented scratch and sniff stickers to commuters and shoppers for a full sensory-festive experience. (It says here.)
“eBay is encouraging online shoppers to enhance their Christmas cheer by bringing all the scents and sounds of Christmas to life while they shop,” eBay explained in a statement.
“Whether shopping on the bus or train, at work, on the couch or even on the toilet (we have the data to prove it!), now eBay will offer some Christmas cheer to all eBay Australian shoppers.”
We feel obliged to point out that if anyone plays eBay Christmas carols on the bus or train, we are legally entitled to hurl their devices out the window. [Citation needed.]
If you wish to partake in this unholy abomination, you’ll need to join Spotify first. Existing members simply need to log into their accounts before hitting eBay. You can then click on the play button that appears at the bottom of the screen.
eBay members can also add to the open playlist and share their favourite Christmas tunes to “inspire and delight fellow shoppers”. We suggest Crubump’s “F*ck You If You Don’t Like Christmas” which we’ve handily included below. (Warning: contains swearing.)