We have a rough time with change, and that’s especially true when a relationship ends. While you can’t get over a breakup in an instant, there are ways to make the healing process go a little faster.
Illustration by KennyK (Shutterstock).
Redditor Arknell suggests you start by changing your ringtone.
Humans (like other animals) are extremely adept at associating sights, sounds, and smells with the feelings they evoke, for good or bad, it’s been thoroughly studied. The sound of your loved one wanting to reach you may have been a signal preceding some of the best feelings in your life, so change that tune, get something entirely different, clean slate. It can make a big difference, as people can have reactions ranging from light nervous breakdown to near-PTSD when involuntarily remembering one’s past love. Be kind to yourself.
One sound won’t do the trick, but you can apply this principle to a variety of other familiar stimuli. Aknell also suggests changing colognes and other common smells. In the past, we’ve also suggested finding ways to replace tasks your former partner used to help you with or handle for you. That may mean finding a friend to help you with the dishes for a week or two — as weird as that may seem — so you don’t associate the task with your ex.
Obviously you can’t replace everything and you’ll have to get used to not having someone you loved (or, at least, really liked) in your life in a romantic way. We’re already so resistant to change, and we process the loss of love like physical pain, so breakups can almost feel insurmountable at times. Minimising the number of constant memories, however, can make a big difference and help the healing process move along faster.