If You're A Wallflower, Seek Out Other Wallflowers At Events

If you're a bit on the shy side and tend to stick to the wall at most social events, that doesn't mean you can't still have a great time. Inc points out that all you need to do is seek out other wallflowers.

The idea here is that you're basically seeking out other like-minded people by seeing who else is shyly glued to the wall. After all, right off the bat you'll have something in common:

"Look around the room. Pick someone who looks uncomfortable. Pick someone who seems to feel out of place. Pick someone just like you.

"Then go talk to them. Make it your goal to make that one person feel more comfortable. Then you'll feel more comfortable too."

Try it. If it's painful to mingle, if it's awkward to make small talk, use those feelings in a positive way. Turn sympathy for yourself into empathy for another. Go rescue someone.

Just introduce yourself to people and ask a basic question: what they do, where they're from, why they're attending. You don't need to be a conversational genius. The people you rescue won't notice. They'll be too busy feeling less like wallflowers and more like people who belong — and they will always remember that it was you who made them feel that way.

As a wallflower myself, I can attest that this works wonders on both sides. I'm not sure when I started gravitating towards the like-minded against the walls, but that two-sided awkwardness quickly turns to a camaraderie amongst the shy. If you're stuck on conversation topics, we have you covered.

Hate Small Talk? One Approach Anyone Can Use [Inc]


    That guy is doomed to spend his entire life as an awkward teenager :P

    Just because two people have their awkwardness in common doesn't mean that a great conversation about it is going to ensue.

    If the hypothesis that the majority of wallflowers are wallflowers because they are too shy to seek out the interaction they desire then I can see this being a reasonably high probability strategy though.

    Personally I would be irritated if someone tried this on me. If I'm being a wallflower it's because I want to be a wallflower. I'm not shy, I just don't often want to talk to people. If there are people that I want to talk to then I would be talking to them. This attitude seems pretty uncommon though so I think I'm an outlier.

    Last edited 28/02/14 5:00 pm

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