The Lifehacker Holiday Quiz: Social Faux Pax Edition

Holidays can be tough. There’s family to deal with, there’s drunkenness and debauchery. All too often this results in some serious Sophie’s Choice style social situations. How the hell do you deal with them? I thought I’d ask the good people of the Lifehacker community for advice.

Picture from Shutterstock

So here’s how this is going to go. I’m going to present some all-too common situations that tend to occur during the holiday season and I want you guys and girls to try and come up with the best solutions in the comments below. This is going to be hilarious.

Situation 1: The Terrible Gift

You know the drill. You’ve received the worst gift ever. You’ve received Curtis Stone of Christmas gifts. The LAX of presents. It’s the jumper that’s too big/small/crap, the video game/blu-ray you already own.

Much like Whitney Houston, you want to see the receipts. But there is no receipt. You are boned.

Or are you?

What do you do? Ask for a receipt? Smile and just take the loss? Do you head back to the store and try your luck anyway?

Situation 2: A Guest Is Way, Way Too Drunk At Your Party And Is Being Obnoxious/Sexist/Horrible

Let’s make this tricky. Not only is ‘Guest X’ a nice person normally, ‘Guest X’ is also someone useful to you. He is a friend you can’t afford to lose. He may be a co-worker/boss or he may be just a friend who is helpful to you in a way that is close to irreplaceable.

But he/she is being insufferable. Quite literally the party pooper. Other guests are getting angry, they are leaving. Unless you do something fast this situation is going to get out of hand.

Pop Quiz hotshot. What do you do?

Situation 3: Angry Toddler Is Angry

‘Child X’ is… let’s say three years old. He/she is on an absolute tear. Spitting on things, pulling hair, punching smaller babies, molesting pets — the whole gamut.

The parents don’t care. They’re drunk somewhere. They’re eating a tremendous amount of cake and they’re having a ball, oblivious to the fact that Junior is completely wrecking the joint.

What do you do? Is it somebody’s else’s problem? Do you politely inform the parents that their dearly beloved is, in actual fact, the spawn of satan himself? What happens when they don’t give a shit? Do you discipline the child by yourself?

Situation 4: Your Political Beast Of An Uncle

He/she doesn’t have to be an Uncle. Any relative will do. And it doesn’t have to be about politics either. We could be dealing with a religious nut, an obnoxious atheist. This person could be an insufferable student socialist or a right wing climate change denier.

It really doesn’t matter. What we’re dealing with here is a failure of communication. A human being who doesn’t know how to dial is back, who doesn’t understand the concept of small talk. He/she will not stop offending the shit out of everyone. How do you deal with this person?

Answers on a postcard in the comments below! And if you feel like it, let us know some of the most difficult social situations you’ve found yourself in during this (or any other) Christmas.

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