No matter how smart you think you are, communicating with your significant other is never easy. According to The Wall Street Journal you can improve your communication with just a few tips.
Photo by Kris Krug
The idea here is that men and women communicate a little differently:
FOR MEN
When you are listening
- Don’t think about what you are going to say next while the other person is talking.
- Ask follow-up questions. This demonstrates that you care.
- Consider how the other person wants you to respond.
When you are speaking
- Don’t give advice until asked.
- Try to identify some of your emotions and take a chance: Express them!
FOR WOMEN
When you are listening
- Don’t get upset if the other person seems curt, especially in email or text. This can be simply a matter of style.
- Draw someone out with empathic guesses. ‘I imagine you were frustrated.’
- Be calm, so the other person feels it is safe to share emotions.
When you are speaking
- Edit your story. Pare down emotion and give only essential details. Perhaps prepare bullet points.
- Tell him how you want him to respond. ‘More than advice, I need you to just listen.’
It’s a simple set of communication guidelines and if nothing else should give you the time to work through those miscommunications a little more cleanly. Head over to The Wall Street Journal for a few more tips.
Relationship Talking Points: Speak Your Spouse’s Language [The Wall Street Journal]
Comments
3 responses to “Communicate Better With Your Significant Other With These 10 Rules”
I struggle with the not giving advice until I’m asked….my day job is basically people coming to me with problems and me giving them 1 to about 5 different solutions………
I’m with you @boogoose, that is the toughest one on there!!
Blend the two sets together and you have a better set of rules that applies equally to both genders. As it stands now, there is an implied expectation that each gender will behave in a distinct & unique way. This is a form of sexism, and is unfair to both. The reality is that men sometimes do what women do, and women sometimes do what men do.